Fuckin' Dunkin' Donuts Man

God damn they suck so fucking bad. I fucking hate them and want to destroy them Incredible Hulk style with my bare monstrous green hands those fuckshits. Every fucking time they screw up your order I don't know why i kept going back to them. I'm fucking done i cant stand it anymore i hope they all die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. I actually went to their websites "contact us" section and sent them this. This is only the second time in my life that i've been so annoyed with how terrible something is that i actually went to their website and made a complaint. Coincidentally it was also D&D so fuck those baby raping fuckshits. Below is what i sent them. On a side note, you know how you know that your blog sucks? It not even saved as a favorite on your wife's computer.

"This store is so terrible that not only will I never frequent another D&D again but also I feel i have to write this b/c you need to be aware of how awful it is. I order the same thing every time, Sausage & cheese on an everything bagel w/an iced french vanilla coffee w/ milk sugar and a turbo shot. 4 out of the last 5 times I went to this store there was a problem with it. 1st, I got egg and cheese no sausage (despite the fact that i was asked no less than 3 times what I ordered b/c he "forgot"), 2nd, what appeared to be strawberry cream cheese on a bagel, 3rd I sat in the drive thru waiting for 5 mins as i watched 3 employees flirting with eachother b4 one of them realized they forgot to give me my coffee. Today, no turbo shot even though i was charged for it. I don't know what type of standard you hold your employees too but its not very high b/c every time it's someone different screwing up so the fault lies not with them but whoever hires, trains, supervises them etc. In short, you suck."

That was sent to them today from a Jeffrey Lebowski who resides at 69 Effyurmudda Way.

Oh yea and PS, of course D&D does not actually rape babies...not to the best of my knowledge at least. Random pic:

Sluts

Do you remember a time when you thought sluts were a magical gift from god put onto his earth just for your pleasure? I remember way back when before I'd commit to going anywhere I'd want to know the slut situation first. And there was no limit to how far I'd travel in order to improve on that situation. You'd always want to put yourself in the position of being surrounded by as many sluts as possible, better odds that way. I'd ask "Will there be sluts there?" and the answer would be something like "Sluts by the handful bro" and for some reason that was a good thing.


The problem with sluts is if they're not getting fucked, then they're useless. You see, the only asset a slut brings to any social situation is their slutability. So if you have no interest in fucking them, then you have no interest in them at all. All of their stories suck and end the same, with them either on their back, knees or down on all fours. And generally as a breed, they're not an intelligent people, so they can contribute nothing to a conversation.


I listened to a group of them play a game called "Never Have I Ever". The name doesn't even make any fucking sense cuz there isn't anything that they have never, ever done, or won't do. Never have i ever fucked 9 guys in 24 hours. They all drank. Never have i ever gave road head to a midget. They all drank. Never have i ever given a "Famous Amos" to a busboy at Chiles. They still all fucking drank, what does that even mean and how can all of you have done it to Chiles busboys? They're literally boasting to strangers about committing sex acts that no ones ever even heard of, like they're proud to be on the cutting edge of Slut-dom. Here's one for you sluts, Never have i ever read a book, i drink, you don't.


Once you grow up and become part of a committed relationship you are no longer interested in their loose lips or dirty tits, so you don't want them around. I'd make them wrap their vaginal and ass regions in a plastic bag before letting them enter my home. And I'd wear a SARs mask. I don't want any of their fluids leaking out from the little to no underwear they're wearing and getting on any of the furniture. I don't want one of them giving my couch herpes, or worse.

No man meets a slut and thinks about taking her out to a nice dinner and buying her flowers. No man meets a slut and thinks that one day he's going to marry her. No, when a man meets a slut, all he thinks about is what he's going to put into her and where he's going to put it, and how long it will take to accomplish this. Nobody builds long term future plans based around a slut. Women get taken care of, Women get married, Women get loved. Sluts just get fucked.


BTW this rant is inspired by actual people/events, I'm not just trying to be funny or mean. Two sluts took it upon themselves to single-handedly ruin mine, my fiances and all of our friends Memorial Day weekend. And also in the process, may have ruined all future Memorial/Labor Day weekends for us. So here's to you sluts, you know who you are. Unfortunately i don't have any pictures of the sluts in question to post here, but below are pictures of me getting all fat guy in a little fur coat that one of them owned. Apparently it's a real fur. This happened before they got all crazy slutty and ruined everything.

Check It Out

http://www.nypost.com/seven/09122008/news/regionalnews/hasid_lust_cause_128750.htm

Is the difference between story and the one I posted about the "Honor Killings" really all that great? Does it take a big stretch of imagination to see how the killing teenage pakistani girls for marrying against the families wishes and hasidic jews in NY not wanting people to ride their bikes through where they live are somewhat similar? This is New York Fucking City, easily the most diverse city in the world but these people think that they are special and everyone else should have to cater to their own backwards ass lifestyle. The same laws that allow these people to think, pray, worship however they please also allow anyone to ride their bikes where they want dressed how they want. Both of these stories involve one group of people telling other people what they can and can not do based on their own thoughts and feelings and not based on reason or the others peoples personal freedom. I could give a fuck how you want to personally live you life, it is your choice not mine, but don't for a second think that i am going to let your right to "freedom" of anything impede my same right. When you make your choice understand the world you live in and your immediate surroundings and know that not everyone will agree with you and will not and should not be expected to live by your same beliefs.

NFL Football

Sunday's Picks

I am no longer a betting man but if i were these are the picks i would like. Keep in mind i am no longer a betting man because i wasn't very good at it.

Giants/RAMS Over 42
Packers -3 over LIONS
Bills +5 1/2 over JAGUARS
BUCS/Falcons under 37 1/2

Fantasy Corner

Sit and/or trade any member of the Jaguars, including MoJo and Taylor. They have lost 4 starting Offensive Lineman over the past month. The Bills have an underrated, fast defense.

Start Kurt Warner. I'm a Dolphin fan. The Dolphins suck.

Sit Marc Bulger. Unfortunately its not 2006 anymore.

Start Chris Johnson. But you didn't need me to tell you that.

Sit any Bengals running backs.

Start Bengals Defense. They only thing that sucks worse then the Bengals defense is the Titan offense led by Kerry Collins. This is a desperation move only cuz even with Kerry "Tom" Collins under center They should still get gashed by Chris Johnson.

Start Randy McMichael The G-Men suck at covering TE's

Start Patrick Crayton. The Eagles will be so concerned with shutting up TO, shutting out Witten and shutting down Barber and Felix Jones, that Crayton will be overlooked.

Sit Broncos running backs. I hate you Mike Shanahan.

This actually happened

http://worldblog.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/09/12/1382073.aspx

We are 3 months away from the year 2009. This isn't the plot of some emmy nominated movie, not yet at least anyway, this actually happened to 3 real teenage girls by their "families". This isn't some isolated incident perpetrated by some sicko, this was not only condoned by the community but it seems whatever "government" they have actually played a role in aiding it. The worst part is it's not even front page news. Could you imagine a dog killing it's own offspring because it associated with a dog of another breed? If you can't that makes two of us, because it would never happen. Substitute dog for any other "animal" and the result would be no different. Just having a brain capable of higher level thinking and opposable thumbs does not necessarily mean that you are an evolved, intelligent organism at the top of the food chain, superior to animals. It does not mean that you are human like you or I, at least i hope it doesn't. Can you imagine if we all were judged by the acts of all others that are considered to be like us? How can shit like this be defended.

Amazing

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26673009/

This is great

Miller Lite Man Law commercials

http://www.millerlite.com/av.action

Can everyone pls go to the miller lite website and demand that they bring back the Man Law commercial campaign. These more taste league commercials are the dumbest thing ive ever seen and even worse, they are not funny. They don't even make sense. If Miller Lite is so tastey and delicious how come everytime the people in the more taste league are away from the watchful eye of the commissioner they try to drink a beer thats not miller lite? If miller lite is so great shouldnt everyone want to drink it all the time regardless of who is watching them. how come the commish always has to go undercover to ensure that the members of the league are only drinking miller lite? It seems like if the commish wasnt around and these people were free to choose any beer they wanted to drink they would def not pick miller lite. pls go to the site and ask them to bring back man law, ive already done it several times

Serious One

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26513442/ Read this first

I find this article more or less bullshit. It is a lack of self control that causes people to go out and binge eat or make impulse buys, not "Law and Order". I'll concede that this theory is accurate in the sense that it plants an idea or stimulates an impulse to go out and do these things cuz they make people aware that at any given moment they can be murdered, but every idea/impulse a person has does not have to be acted upon. If you have self control you can have ideas like that but not act on them. I have ideas and impulses all day and all night that I do not act upon. Example, just earlier today i was on my way to the break room and a big titted Asian woman walked past me. I had the impulse/idea to tear off her red polo shirt and start sucking on her titty like i was a baby and it was lunch time. Of course i didn't do this. Why? Self-control. Just cuz I have an idea i don't have to act on it. This is what weak minded people who refuse to take personal responsibility for their actions and are looking to blame someone else for why they are fat or broke. And I have a lot less self-control then most. I thought of this yesterday.

Today I realized something, how sad is this if there is any shred of truth to it at all? It sounds like it was a legitimate study done by some reputable organization so there has to be at least some morsel of truth to it. How pathetic and brainwashed have we become as a society? "Fight Club" and Al Gore were right we have all been brainwashed by a strategic bombardment of constant advertisements and have been turned into mindless zombie consumers. (Isn't it odd that some of the ideas in "Fight Club" are discussed in a different way in Gore's book "The Assault on Reason"? They aren't directly related but if you've seen or read both and are of average intelligence you can draw definite correlations to some subjects that are discussed in both. Remember also that "Fight Club" came first.) So this study contends that being reminded of our own mortality causes us to do impulsive things that we wouldn't normally do. And this causes us to go out and "live life to the fullest" cuz we could drop dead at any moment. And what do we do" We go to fucking McDonalds. We go and buy a bigger TV. That is how we "celebrate" our precious life and brings us the most happiness. A cheeseburger or clothing with someone else's name printed on it. How fucking pathetic are we?

You would hope that when faced with our unavoidable mortality people would go out and play catch with their kids, tell someone that they love them, quit the shitty job they hate and find one they like. Marry their girlfriend, take a class and learn to do something you've always wanted to, like paint or draw or some gay shit like that. Go mountain biking or watch the sunrise, something, anything. Fuck, go out, drink our faces off and punch the biggest, toughest person we can find in the face just so we can find something out about ourselves. No what we do is stuff our fat fucking faces and buy shit we don't need and can't take with us. Honestly, this is one of the most disturbing things I've ever read.

You Gotta Check This Out

This guy is a really twisted fuck. You have to read this, its hilarious

http://www.10tv.com/live/content/local/stories/2008/09/08/story_patton.html?sid=102

Chad Pennington/Dolphin Play Calling Rant

The addition of Pennington brings stability to the most important position on the football team and it also gives them a veteran presence and leadership. As well as a good mentor for Henne and Beck. But it also works directly against the strength of this football team. The strength, of course is running the ball. Having a very accurate yet, weak armed, QB does little in the way of keeping the defense honest the way a canon armed erratic QB would. Even when the opposing D has to respect Pennington's abilities they can still sneak closer to the line of scrimmage and play without the risk of getting beat deep and bottle up the run. Even if he is "on" it will not open space for Ricky and Ronnie to run wild. It was evident that Jets D was stacking the run daring Pennington to beat them. Then when he was off early it seems the idea of a power running game was foresaken in favror of trying to get Pennington going. This is a very bad idea because even when Pennington is in his "groove" it will not alleviate any of the difficulties of running the ball on Sunday in a real NFL game. The only shot they have is to run, run, run, run, run, despite the results, and then sneak in a play action pass or 2 at an opportune time. Like on a 1st and 10 or a 3rd and 2. Passing to open up the run, as was what the Fins did from the end of the 1st quarter on, will only work if you have a rocket armed Tom Brady or Peyton Manning under center, with quality WR's who can read a D and get open. Otherwise you have to run, early and often, to open up some throwing lanes and to purposely draw the Def in even closer then they already are. Chad Penningtons as the Dolphins QB will pay dividends in the locker room and on the practice field but will actually work adversely in their favor on Sundays. They should be running the ball over and over, early and often not caring if at the half they have 22 attempts for 33 yards. In the long run that type of committment to the run will pay off.

Fantasy Football

I am a huge fantasy football fan. I am thinking of somehow incorporating that into my blog. Everywhere you look now a days you can see some "expert" giving out fantasy football advice ranging from when to draft a quarterback to what not to name your team. I don't want to be another one of these assholes who just regurgitates the same shit like "always draft a RB with your first two picks" so i have to walk the very fine line between trying to offer good, sound original info and becoming some pretentious asswipe saying the same shit everyone else is.

That said here is one thing I've noticed so far. The WR talent pool is ripe with deep sleepers that can have very productive if not superb years. I've noticed this over the past few weeks in the countless mock drafts I've done on espn.com and the couple real ones i did. What i like to do is grab a certifiable, proven, WR stud early on then fill out the rest with some of these sleepers while focusing on adding depth to my RBs. Now I'd be an asshole to say this and not give examples so here they are, in the order i think they should be drafted along with an explanation which at the end of i list the round and pick nbr they were drafted in the real live draft i was doing on espn.com while i was typing up this entry.

The following 3 WR should be available in rd 5-6

Steve Smith - because of his 2 game suspension you can get a player with 2nd rd talent in the 5th-6th rd. if Delhomme is completely recovered and picks up where he left off last year look for monster numbers in only 14 games. RD 6 #59

Anquan Boldin - Surprisingly enough he is getting drafted with regularity behind less proven WR's like Santonio Holmes and Roddy White. Should be available in the in the 5th rd. I guess people like to have happy wide outs on their fantasy team to boost morale. Rd 5 #46

Jerricho Cotchery - prime for a monster year. he'll benefit equally as much from the addition of Favre as he will from the subtraction of Pennington because of the love affair that Chad and Coles had with each other. overall a great skill set for a receiver and working in an improved offense he should get the ball his way a lot more and won't disappoint. and this is coming from a Jet hating Dolphin fan. In 2007 had 82 catches and 1130 yards but is overlooked cuz he only caught 2 TD's, expect that to change. Rd 6 #55

Most if not all of the rest of these WR will be available in rd 8 or later. Again, listed in the order i think they will be selected.

Bernard Berrian -#1 receiver with deep threat speed, great oline, and one of the best backfields in the NFL. Had Favre got his wish and went to Minnesota he would be an easy 3rd rd pick.
Rd 9 #81

Donald Driver- still has enough left in the tank to have 1 more descent fantasy year even on a Favre-less Packer team. RD 10 #92

Chris Chambers - number one receiver in a good offense. good redzone skills. a full training camp to get acclimated to the offense and a slowed down version of Antonio Gates by the nagging toe injury should result in more targets. RD 13 #122 I could not believe this. I actually just checked to see if he got hurt today and i haven't heard about it yet but no he is fine. How does a #1 wideout out last to rd 13?

Anthony Gonzalez - take a faster Brandon Stokley and add it to Marvin Harrison's increasing age and decreasing health and you have a recipe for a big, break out year. Rd 10 #97

Nate Burleson- the departure of DJ Hackett and injuries to Bobby Engram and Deion Branch leave him the #1 target in a pass happy spread offense. he should shed the label of being a disappointment is Seattle and emerge as a go to receiver and serious deep threat. RD 10 # 94

Patrick Crayton- TO isn't getting any younger but still commands the defenses attention at all times. he becomes the #2 guy in an offense that will score enough TD's to keep everyone happy. look for an increased amount of targets with TO and Witten drawing double coverages and safeties cheating up to keep the beast that is Marion Barber at bay. RD 11 #106

Javon Walker - Maybe its just his name that makes me like him, but he should be around when you get into the double digit rounds. If you can get him in rd 11 or later why not take a flier on him. A good running game should help him have a descent season even if he is just 75% of what he use to be. RD 13 #129

Bryant Johnson - This one is my personal favorite. He should be available in rd 13 or 14 of your draft. A former 1st rd draft pick who never lived up to expectations in Arizona. He has a change of scenery but stays in the division. Has a fresh start and is looking to prove his detractors wrong. Great size and will emerge as the #1 target in a Mike Martz pass happy offense. Undrafted but Roscoe Parrish, Isaac Bruce, Amani Toomer, Muhsin Muhammad and Sidney Rice were (in that order).

Text of the Week 8/8-8/15

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! This is unprecedented. Not only do we have our first back to back, 2peat, winner in the long, storied history of the text of the week competition but we also have our first sweep!!! These two texts were sent in conjunction of one another and will take both the winner and honorable mention spots. By now you should know who the winner is, but lets give him his due.

And the award for text of the week and the first back 2 back winner and first ever sweep goes to................................You guessed it O-Dawg!!!!!!!

Who on 8/15 @ 10:48 am wrote "How hot are those gymnastics girls in the olympics? I jerked off durin the whole floor exercise rotation last night"

Then at 11:13 followed that gem up with "As i was blowin my load i was changing USA USA USA USA USA then i cried. not in shame but in joy and admiration"

O-Dawg, First congratulations. Words can't describe how proud I am of you. Good luck tomorrow in your competition (I would love to make fun of you right now, but i have too much respect for what you did earlier today). Secondly, whether we want to admit it or not, we have all been there.

Everyone, seriously if you see this perverted mother fucker out buy him a shot of Jameson then notify the local authorities that you have an unregistered sex offender within 5o ft of a playground. Kudos to you O-Dawg. You are a patriot and a role model.

A Quick One

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26218530/

When did everyone become devoid of personal responsibility? I hate people who think everything is someone elses fault. Shit like this is ruining the country. The parents, who let their gay son go to school dressed like a fruit, are trying to hold the school he attended responsible for his death because they did not enforce their dress code. If the parents were so worried about the dress code being enforced why didn't they do it themselves? How come someone else is responsible for the way your child dresses? This crap makes me want to puke. I want to just open hand slap these parents until they cry. All they are really doing is trying to make some money off their sons dead body and that is as despicable of an action as they come.