Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Fantasy Football

I am a huge fantasy football fan. I am thinking of somehow incorporating that into my blog. Everywhere you look now a days you can see some "expert" giving out fantasy football advice ranging from when to draft a quarterback to what not to name your team. I don't want to be another one of these assholes who just regurgitates the same shit like "always draft a RB with your first two picks" so i have to walk the very fine line between trying to offer good, sound original info and becoming some pretentious asswipe saying the same shit everyone else is.

That said here is one thing I've noticed so far. The WR talent pool is ripe with deep sleepers that can have very productive if not superb years. I've noticed this over the past few weeks in the countless mock drafts I've done on espn.com and the couple real ones i did. What i like to do is grab a certifiable, proven, WR stud early on then fill out the rest with some of these sleepers while focusing on adding depth to my RBs. Now I'd be an asshole to say this and not give examples so here they are, in the order i think they should be drafted along with an explanation which at the end of i list the round and pick nbr they were drafted in the real live draft i was doing on espn.com while i was typing up this entry.

The following 3 WR should be available in rd 5-6

Steve Smith - because of his 2 game suspension you can get a player with 2nd rd talent in the 5th-6th rd. if Delhomme is completely recovered and picks up where he left off last year look for monster numbers in only 14 games. RD 6 #59

Anquan Boldin - Surprisingly enough he is getting drafted with regularity behind less proven WR's like Santonio Holmes and Roddy White. Should be available in the in the 5th rd. I guess people like to have happy wide outs on their fantasy team to boost morale. Rd 5 #46

Jerricho Cotchery - prime for a monster year. he'll benefit equally as much from the addition of Favre as he will from the subtraction of Pennington because of the love affair that Chad and Coles had with each other. overall a great skill set for a receiver and working in an improved offense he should get the ball his way a lot more and won't disappoint. and this is coming from a Jet hating Dolphin fan. In 2007 had 82 catches and 1130 yards but is overlooked cuz he only caught 2 TD's, expect that to change. Rd 6 #55

Most if not all of the rest of these WR will be available in rd 8 or later. Again, listed in the order i think they will be selected.

Bernard Berrian -#1 receiver with deep threat speed, great oline, and one of the best backfields in the NFL. Had Favre got his wish and went to Minnesota he would be an easy 3rd rd pick.
Rd 9 #81

Donald Driver- still has enough left in the tank to have 1 more descent fantasy year even on a Favre-less Packer team. RD 10 #92

Chris Chambers - number one receiver in a good offense. good redzone skills. a full training camp to get acclimated to the offense and a slowed down version of Antonio Gates by the nagging toe injury should result in more targets. RD 13 #122 I could not believe this. I actually just checked to see if he got hurt today and i haven't heard about it yet but no he is fine. How does a #1 wideout out last to rd 13?

Anthony Gonzalez - take a faster Brandon Stokley and add it to Marvin Harrison's increasing age and decreasing health and you have a recipe for a big, break out year. Rd 10 #97

Nate Burleson- the departure of DJ Hackett and injuries to Bobby Engram and Deion Branch leave him the #1 target in a pass happy spread offense. he should shed the label of being a disappointment is Seattle and emerge as a go to receiver and serious deep threat. RD 10 # 94

Patrick Crayton- TO isn't getting any younger but still commands the defenses attention at all times. he becomes the #2 guy in an offense that will score enough TD's to keep everyone happy. look for an increased amount of targets with TO and Witten drawing double coverages and safeties cheating up to keep the beast that is Marion Barber at bay. RD 11 #106

Javon Walker - Maybe its just his name that makes me like him, but he should be around when you get into the double digit rounds. If you can get him in rd 11 or later why not take a flier on him. A good running game should help him have a descent season even if he is just 75% of what he use to be. RD 13 #129

Bryant Johnson - This one is my personal favorite. He should be available in rd 13 or 14 of your draft. A former 1st rd draft pick who never lived up to expectations in Arizona. He has a change of scenery but stays in the division. Has a fresh start and is looking to prove his detractors wrong. Great size and will emerge as the #1 target in a Mike Martz pass happy offense. Undrafted but Roscoe Parrish, Isaac Bruce, Amani Toomer, Muhsin Muhammad and Sidney Rice were (in that order).

Friday, August 15, 2008

Text of the Week 8/8-8/15

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! This is unprecedented. Not only do we have our first back to back, 2peat, winner in the long, storied history of the text of the week competition but we also have our first sweep!!! These two texts were sent in conjunction of one another and will take both the winner and honorable mention spots. By now you should know who the winner is, but lets give him his due.

And the award for text of the week and the first back 2 back winner and first ever sweep goes to................................You guessed it O-Dawg!!!!!!!

Who on 8/15 @ 10:48 am wrote "How hot are those gymnastics girls in the olympics? I jerked off durin the whole floor exercise rotation last night"

Then at 11:13 followed that gem up with "As i was blowin my load i was changing USA USA USA USA USA then i cried. not in shame but in joy and admiration"

O-Dawg, First congratulations. Words can't describe how proud I am of you. Good luck tomorrow in your competition (I would love to make fun of you right now, but i have too much respect for what you did earlier today). Secondly, whether we want to admit it or not, we have all been there.

Everyone, seriously if you see this perverted mother fucker out buy him a shot of Jameson then notify the local authorities that you have an unregistered sex offender within 5o ft of a playground. Kudos to you O-Dawg. You are a patriot and a role model.

A Quick One

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26218530/

When did everyone become devoid of personal responsibility? I hate people who think everything is someone elses fault. Shit like this is ruining the country. The parents, who let their gay son go to school dressed like a fruit, are trying to hold the school he attended responsible for his death because they did not enforce their dress code. If the parents were so worried about the dress code being enforced why didn't they do it themselves? How come someone else is responsible for the way your child dresses? This crap makes me want to puke. I want to just open hand slap these parents until they cry. All they are really doing is trying to make some money off their sons dead body and that is as despicable of an action as they come.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

New Olympic Sport

http://msn.foxsports.com/olympics/story/8448176/Olympics-and-safe-sex-...-what's-the-harm-in-that?

A long time ago i heard that the Olympic village that they set up for the athletes is one big party zone and orgy. My friends and I are determined to somehow make it to the Olympics just so we can party in the village. For years we thought the best sport for us to do would be curling at the winter games but now i have a better idea. Lets make our own sport. Who's down for Olympic Karaoke? I want to start it up and be a member of the first Olympic Karaoke team representing USA. Come on, what would you watch first, women's water polo or karaoke? What event would you watch "track cycling" badminton or karaoke? Its not as far fetched as you think, fucking trampoline is a sport. You could have individual karaoke, karaoke pairs, choreographed dance karaoke, the possibilities are endless

On the Lighter Side

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/26203776/

Haha, how funny would it be if this guy actually made a fake tape and tried to use it in the black mail. He just got a porno tape and digitally altered it by cutting and pasting Tom Coughlin's face onto the male porn stars. And he dubbed over the voices with his own saying, as the guy, "I'm the head coach of the New York Giants Tom Coughlin and I'm fucking you" and then in a girls voice he says "Oh yea keep fucking Tom Coughlin head coach of the New York Giants!"

A Serious One

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/08/14/duncan.slayings.ap/index.html

I just read this article and it made me sad, depressed and infuriated all at the same time. How come these people are allowed to live? This person had a rap sheet that could one could use to predict something like this happening. How come we live in a fucking PC world where people get 3rd, 4th, and 5th chances right up until something of this magnitude happens? Why is there such an absence of common sense and reason? Why is it not PC to use common sense? If you are a drug dealer or addict prison should be about rehabilitation. If you commit "white collar crimes" or similar non violent offenses it should be part rehab part punishment. If the crime you are convicted of is violent and involves rape or murder prison should be about punishment and punishment only. If your crime involves harming or exploiting children in any way at all it should be straight up punishment for the rest of their lives. Those actions are a behavioral disorder that will never be corrected. Why do we live in such a bullshit society where no matter what you do, no matter who you do it to, or how heinous the action is , you, on most occasions, have to be given at least a 2nd chance, if not more. How come the only time these sicks fucks are dealt with adequately, adequate by current standards that are still wholly inadequate if you ask me, is after something terrible like this happens? You know what the best predictor of future actions are? Past actions. Its also human nature to escalate your actions/behavior as time progresses. I started off gambling 25$ a game only a couple games at a time. That progressed to me betting $50 on every game. That became me betting on the game the regular game then making an additional half time bet. Before you know it I'm calling in $200 or $300 bets with regularity. My behavior escalated with time. Read this article and tell me that you think the way our society currently deals with these sicks fucks is adequate. Right now i want to grab my Fubar and just start bashing skulls. These are the type of ppl that the death penalty is too good for cuz you know it will take at least 10 yrs for the sentence to be carried out only after all appeals have been exhausted and millions of dollars have been wasted. Set up a special jail and put all these sick fucks together and give them a daily routine that alternately subjects them to beatings, mental abuse and manual labor. Give them no more then 2 hrs of sleep each day and the most minimal amt and cheapest food needed to survive on. Why as a society are we so concerned about not infringing on the rights of one individual who is proven to be sick and twisted that our lack of action is at the expense of those most innocent and in need of protection from them?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Past Weekends Activities

I spent from 8/8-8/11 in NC w/ my girlfriend visiting the Icebox. Here are some highlights. I negotiated a successful treaty for the surrender of my moustache and side burns. I shot things, with a real gun. When buying ammo for the gun i almost got flagged cuz i joke about using the ammo to invade a neighboring town. Blatantly stole a beer from a woman not paying attention at the bar (we had just done a shot together and i actually may or may not have paid for the beer, details are fuzzy). Ruled the dance floor, along with the Icebox, at a club called "Ess" in Raleigh. Coined the phrase "meat bucket" as a new term for homosexuals. Spilled 1 Irish Car Bomb all over my white Jeter shirt. Drank 1 beer that was steathily hidden in my ass crack. And prob the best of them all, danced around buck naked on the lawn at a Journey concert. Apparently there are pictures evidencing this maybe even video. All in all it was a pretty kick ass weekend.

Text of the Week 8/1-8/8

A couple days late again but i was too busy dancing naked at the Journey concert and shooting things, with a gun, to update this any earlier. So without further ado...

This weeks winner is.....................................O-Dawg!
Who on 8/4/08 @ 3:56 wrote:

"Yeah Fuckin old chicks sounds pretty fun but then when you're actually doin it and you see them naked its not that fun"

Ill take your word on that that one.

If anyone sees the O-Dawg out get him a beer and make sure your Mom is nowhere to be found.

Honorable Mention: Me

On 8/8/08 @ 4:11 I wrote to Da Crippla:

"How bout you can do better then that. your cum guzzling turd burglar of a mother would have aborted you if she knew this is what you'd become"

I received no response to it, what a bitch.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Text of the week 7/26-8/1

Sorry for the delay but I've been drunk a lot lately. And this caused me to have the mental capacity of a retarted elephant with virtually no functional brain activity yesterday. Last weeks winner is a good one. I'd like to see a few more entrants for this weeks competition. I'll be accepting entries until 4pm et Friday 8/8.

And without further ado the winner is........................................Kev Da Red! Who on 7/31 @ 7:38pm wrote:

"So i was at this fair yesterday and i saw this dude running to a portapotty with a little boy. and i say to my friend jeff, that kids gonna shit his pants. and my buddy jeff said "that or his dad really wants a blow job"

Don't we all kev, don't we all. Folks if you see Kev out buy him a beer, he's earned it.

Honorable Mention

Sent by "Bernard" (Fake name hes kinda gay about his name being attributed to things like this"

"Is it true that black men have purple dicks"

Imagine having both a purple dick and blue balls? Your unit would look like some type of half melted Italian Ice.