http://www.nypost.com/seven/09122008/news/regionalnews/hasid_lust_cause_128750.htm
Is the difference between story and the one I posted about the "Honor Killings" really all that great? Does it take a big stretch of imagination to see how the killing teenage pakistani girls for marrying against the families wishes and hasidic jews in NY not wanting people to ride their bikes through where they live are somewhat similar? This is New York Fucking City, easily the most diverse city in the world but these people think that they are special and everyone else should have to cater to their own backwards ass lifestyle. The same laws that allow these people to think, pray, worship however they please also allow anyone to ride their bikes where they want dressed how they want. Both of these stories involve one group of people telling other people what they can and can not do based on their own thoughts and feelings and not based on reason or the others peoples personal freedom. I could give a fuck how you want to personally live you life, it is your choice not mine, but don't for a second think that i am going to let your right to "freedom" of anything impede my same right. When you make your choice understand the world you live in and your immediate surroundings and know that not everyone will agree with you and will not and should not be expected to live by your same beliefs.
Friday, September 12, 2008
NFL Football
Sunday's Picks
I am no longer a betting man but if i were these are the picks i would like. Keep in mind i am no longer a betting man because i wasn't very good at it.
Giants/RAMS Over 42
Packers -3 over LIONS
Bills +5 1/2 over JAGUARS
BUCS/Falcons under 37 1/2
Fantasy Corner
Sit and/or trade any member of the Jaguars, including MoJo and Taylor. They have lost 4 starting Offensive Lineman over the past month. The Bills have an underrated, fast defense.
Start Kurt Warner. I'm a Dolphin fan. The Dolphins suck.
Sit Marc Bulger. Unfortunately its not 2006 anymore.
Start Chris Johnson. But you didn't need me to tell you that.
Sit any Bengals running backs.
Start Bengals Defense. They only thing that sucks worse then the Bengals defense is the Titan offense led by Kerry Collins. This is a desperation move only cuz even with Kerry "Tom" Collins under center They should still get gashed by Chris Johnson.
Start Randy McMichael The G-Men suck at covering TE's
Start Patrick Crayton. The Eagles will be so concerned with shutting up TO, shutting out Witten and shutting down Barber and Felix Jones, that Crayton will be overlooked.
Sit Broncos running backs. I hate you Mike Shanahan.
This actually happened
http://worldblog.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/09/12/1382073.aspx
We are 3 months away from the year 2009. This isn't the plot of some emmy nominated movie, not yet at least anyway, this actually happened to 3 real teenage girls by their "families". This isn't some isolated incident perpetrated by some sicko, this was not only condoned by the community but it seems whatever "government" they have actually played a role in aiding it. The worst part is it's not even front page news. Could you imagine a dog killing it's own offspring because it associated with a dog of another breed? If you can't that makes two of us, because it would never happen. Substitute dog for any other "animal" and the result would be no different. Just having a brain capable of higher level thinking and opposable thumbs does not necessarily mean that you are an evolved, intelligent organism at the top of the food chain, superior to animals. It does not mean that you are human like you or I, at least i hope it doesn't. Can you imagine if we all were judged by the acts of all others that are considered to be like us? How can shit like this be defended.
We are 3 months away from the year 2009. This isn't the plot of some emmy nominated movie, not yet at least anyway, this actually happened to 3 real teenage girls by their "families". This isn't some isolated incident perpetrated by some sicko, this was not only condoned by the community but it seems whatever "government" they have actually played a role in aiding it. The worst part is it's not even front page news. Could you imagine a dog killing it's own offspring because it associated with a dog of another breed? If you can't that makes two of us, because it would never happen. Substitute dog for any other "animal" and the result would be no different. Just having a brain capable of higher level thinking and opposable thumbs does not necessarily mean that you are an evolved, intelligent organism at the top of the food chain, superior to animals. It does not mean that you are human like you or I, at least i hope it doesn't. Can you imagine if we all were judged by the acts of all others that are considered to be like us? How can shit like this be defended.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Miller Lite Man Law commercials
http://www.millerlite.com/av.action
Can everyone pls go to the miller lite website and demand that they bring back the Man Law commercial campaign. These more taste league commercials are the dumbest thing ive ever seen and even worse, they are not funny. They don't even make sense. If Miller Lite is so tastey and delicious how come everytime the people in the more taste league are away from the watchful eye of the commissioner they try to drink a beer thats not miller lite? If miller lite is so great shouldnt everyone want to drink it all the time regardless of who is watching them. how come the commish always has to go undercover to ensure that the members of the league are only drinking miller lite? It seems like if the commish wasnt around and these people were free to choose any beer they wanted to drink they would def not pick miller lite. pls go to the site and ask them to bring back man law, ive already done it several times
Can everyone pls go to the miller lite website and demand that they bring back the Man Law commercial campaign. These more taste league commercials are the dumbest thing ive ever seen and even worse, they are not funny. They don't even make sense. If Miller Lite is so tastey and delicious how come everytime the people in the more taste league are away from the watchful eye of the commissioner they try to drink a beer thats not miller lite? If miller lite is so great shouldnt everyone want to drink it all the time regardless of who is watching them. how come the commish always has to go undercover to ensure that the members of the league are only drinking miller lite? It seems like if the commish wasnt around and these people were free to choose any beer they wanted to drink they would def not pick miller lite. pls go to the site and ask them to bring back man law, ive already done it several times
Serious One
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26513442/ Read this first
I find this article more or less bullshit. It is a lack of self control that causes people to go out and binge eat or make impulse buys, not "Law and Order". I'll concede that this theory is accurate in the sense that it plants an idea or stimulates an impulse to go out and do these things cuz they make people aware that at any given moment they can be murdered, but every idea/impulse a person has does not have to be acted upon. If you have self control you can have ideas like that but not act on them. I have ideas and impulses all day and all night that I do not act upon. Example, just earlier today i was on my way to the break room and a big titted Asian woman walked past me. I had the impulse/idea to tear off her red polo shirt and start sucking on her titty like i was a baby and it was lunch time. Of course i didn't do this. Why? Self-control. Just cuz I have an idea i don't have to act on it. This is what weak minded people who refuse to take personal responsibility for their actions and are looking to blame someone else for why they are fat or broke. And I have a lot less self-control then most. I thought of this yesterday.
Today I realized something, how sad is this if there is any shred of truth to it at all? It sounds like it was a legitimate study done by some reputable organization so there has to be at least some morsel of truth to it. How pathetic and brainwashed have we become as a society? "Fight Club" and Al Gore were right we have all been brainwashed by a strategic bombardment of constant advertisements and have been turned into mindless zombie consumers. (Isn't it odd that some of the ideas in "Fight Club" are discussed in a different way in Gore's book "The Assault on Reason"? They aren't directly related but if you've seen or read both and are of average intelligence you can draw definite correlations to some subjects that are discussed in both. Remember also that "Fight Club" came first.) So this study contends that being reminded of our own mortality causes us to do impulsive things that we wouldn't normally do. And this causes us to go out and "live life to the fullest" cuz we could drop dead at any moment. And what do we do" We go to fucking McDonalds. We go and buy a bigger TV. That is how we "celebrate" our precious life and brings us the most happiness. A cheeseburger or clothing with someone else's name printed on it. How fucking pathetic are we?
You would hope that when faced with our unavoidable mortality people would go out and play catch with their kids, tell someone that they love them, quit the shitty job they hate and find one they like. Marry their girlfriend, take a class and learn to do something you've always wanted to, like paint or draw or some gay shit like that. Go mountain biking or watch the sunrise, something, anything. Fuck, go out, drink our faces off and punch the biggest, toughest person we can find in the face just so we can find something out about ourselves. No what we do is stuff our fat fucking faces and buy shit we don't need and can't take with us. Honestly, this is one of the most disturbing things I've ever read.
I find this article more or less bullshit. It is a lack of self control that causes people to go out and binge eat or make impulse buys, not "Law and Order". I'll concede that this theory is accurate in the sense that it plants an idea or stimulates an impulse to go out and do these things cuz they make people aware that at any given moment they can be murdered, but every idea/impulse a person has does not have to be acted upon. If you have self control you can have ideas like that but not act on them. I have ideas and impulses all day and all night that I do not act upon. Example, just earlier today i was on my way to the break room and a big titted Asian woman walked past me. I had the impulse/idea to tear off her red polo shirt and start sucking on her titty like i was a baby and it was lunch time. Of course i didn't do this. Why? Self-control. Just cuz I have an idea i don't have to act on it. This is what weak minded people who refuse to take personal responsibility for their actions and are looking to blame someone else for why they are fat or broke. And I have a lot less self-control then most. I thought of this yesterday.
Today I realized something, how sad is this if there is any shred of truth to it at all? It sounds like it was a legitimate study done by some reputable organization so there has to be at least some morsel of truth to it. How pathetic and brainwashed have we become as a society? "Fight Club" and Al Gore were right we have all been brainwashed by a strategic bombardment of constant advertisements and have been turned into mindless zombie consumers. (Isn't it odd that some of the ideas in "Fight Club" are discussed in a different way in Gore's book "The Assault on Reason"? They aren't directly related but if you've seen or read both and are of average intelligence you can draw definite correlations to some subjects that are discussed in both. Remember also that "Fight Club" came first.) So this study contends that being reminded of our own mortality causes us to do impulsive things that we wouldn't normally do. And this causes us to go out and "live life to the fullest" cuz we could drop dead at any moment. And what do we do" We go to fucking McDonalds. We go and buy a bigger TV. That is how we "celebrate" our precious life and brings us the most happiness. A cheeseburger or clothing with someone else's name printed on it. How fucking pathetic are we?
You would hope that when faced with our unavoidable mortality people would go out and play catch with their kids, tell someone that they love them, quit the shitty job they hate and find one they like. Marry their girlfriend, take a class and learn to do something you've always wanted to, like paint or draw or some gay shit like that. Go mountain biking or watch the sunrise, something, anything. Fuck, go out, drink our faces off and punch the biggest, toughest person we can find in the face just so we can find something out about ourselves. No what we do is stuff our fat fucking faces and buy shit we don't need and can't take with us. Honestly, this is one of the most disturbing things I've ever read.
Monday, September 8, 2008
You Gotta Check This Out
This guy is a really twisted fuck. You have to read this, its hilarious
http://www.10tv.com/live/content/local/stories/2008/09/08/story_patton.html?sid=102
http://www.10tv.com/live/content/local/stories/2008/09/08/story_patton.html?sid=102
Chad Pennington/Dolphin Play Calling Rant
The addition of Pennington brings stability to the most important position on the football team and it also gives them a veteran presence and leadership. As well as a good mentor for Henne and Beck. But it also works directly against the strength of this football team. The strength, of course is running the ball. Having a very accurate yet, weak armed, QB does little in the way of keeping the defense honest the way a canon armed erratic QB would. Even when the opposing D has to respect Pennington's abilities they can still sneak closer to the line of scrimmage and play without the risk of getting beat deep and bottle up the run. Even if he is "on" it will not open space for Ricky and Ronnie to run wild. It was evident that Jets D was stacking the run daring Pennington to beat them. Then when he was off early it seems the idea of a power running game was foresaken in favror of trying to get Pennington going. This is a very bad idea because even when Pennington is in his "groove" it will not alleviate any of the difficulties of running the ball on Sunday in a real NFL game. The only shot they have is to run, run, run, run, run, despite the results, and then sneak in a play action pass or 2 at an opportune time. Like on a 1st and 10 or a 3rd and 2. Passing to open up the run, as was what the Fins did from the end of the 1st quarter on, will only work if you have a rocket armed Tom Brady or Peyton Manning under center, with quality WR's who can read a D and get open. Otherwise you have to run, early and often, to open up some throwing lanes and to purposely draw the Def in even closer then they already are. Chad Penningtons as the Dolphins QB will pay dividends in the locker room and on the practice field but will actually work adversely in their favor on Sundays. They should be running the ball over and over, early and often not caring if at the half they have 22 attempts for 33 yards. In the long run that type of committment to the run will pay off.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Fantasy Football
I am a huge fantasy football fan. I am thinking of somehow incorporating that into my blog. Everywhere you look now a days you can see some "expert" giving out fantasy football advice ranging from when to draft a quarterback to what not to name your team. I don't want to be another one of these assholes who just regurgitates the same shit like "always draft a RB with your first two picks" so i have to walk the very fine line between trying to offer good, sound original info and becoming some pretentious asswipe saying the same shit everyone else is.
That said here is one thing I've noticed so far. The WR talent pool is ripe with deep sleepers that can have very productive if not superb years. I've noticed this over the past few weeks in the countless mock drafts I've done on espn.com and the couple real ones i did. What i like to do is grab a certifiable, proven, WR stud early on then fill out the rest with some of these sleepers while focusing on adding depth to my RBs. Now I'd be an asshole to say this and not give examples so here they are, in the order i think they should be drafted along with an explanation which at the end of i list the round and pick nbr they were drafted in the real live draft i was doing on espn.com while i was typing up this entry.
The following 3 WR should be available in rd 5-6
Steve Smith - because of his 2 game suspension you can get a player with 2nd rd talent in the 5th-6th rd. if Delhomme is completely recovered and picks up where he left off last year look for monster numbers in only 14 games. RD 6 #59
Anquan Boldin - Surprisingly enough he is getting drafted with regularity behind less proven WR's like Santonio Holmes and Roddy White. Should be available in the in the 5th rd. I guess people like to have happy wide outs on their fantasy team to boost morale. Rd 5 #46
Jerricho Cotchery - prime for a monster year. he'll benefit equally as much from the addition of Favre as he will from the subtraction of Pennington because of the love affair that Chad and Coles had with each other. overall a great skill set for a receiver and working in an improved offense he should get the ball his way a lot more and won't disappoint. and this is coming from a Jet hating Dolphin fan. In 2007 had 82 catches and 1130 yards but is overlooked cuz he only caught 2 TD's, expect that to change. Rd 6 #55
Most if not all of the rest of these WR will be available in rd 8 or later. Again, listed in the order i think they will be selected.
Bernard Berrian -#1 receiver with deep threat speed, great oline, and one of the best backfields in the NFL. Had Favre got his wish and went to Minnesota he would be an easy 3rd rd pick.
Rd 9 #81
Donald Driver- still has enough left in the tank to have 1 more descent fantasy year even on a Favre-less Packer team. RD 10 #92
Chris Chambers - number one receiver in a good offense. good redzone skills. a full training camp to get acclimated to the offense and a slowed down version of Antonio Gates by the nagging toe injury should result in more targets. RD 13 #122 I could not believe this. I actually just checked to see if he got hurt today and i haven't heard about it yet but no he is fine. How does a #1 wideout out last to rd 13?
Anthony Gonzalez - take a faster Brandon Stokley and add it to Marvin Harrison's increasing age and decreasing health and you have a recipe for a big, break out year. Rd 10 #97
Nate Burleson- the departure of DJ Hackett and injuries to Bobby Engram and Deion Branch leave him the #1 target in a pass happy spread offense. he should shed the label of being a disappointment is Seattle and emerge as a go to receiver and serious deep threat. RD 10 # 94
Patrick Crayton- TO isn't getting any younger but still commands the defenses attention at all times. he becomes the #2 guy in an offense that will score enough TD's to keep everyone happy. look for an increased amount of targets with TO and Witten drawing double coverages and safeties cheating up to keep the beast that is Marion Barber at bay. RD 11 #106
Javon Walker - Maybe its just his name that makes me like him, but he should be around when you get into the double digit rounds. If you can get him in rd 11 or later why not take a flier on him. A good running game should help him have a descent season even if he is just 75% of what he use to be. RD 13 #129
Bryant Johnson - This one is my personal favorite. He should be available in rd 13 or 14 of your draft. A former 1st rd draft pick who never lived up to expectations in Arizona. He has a change of scenery but stays in the division. Has a fresh start and is looking to prove his detractors wrong. Great size and will emerge as the #1 target in a Mike Martz pass happy offense. Undrafted but Roscoe Parrish, Isaac Bruce, Amani Toomer, Muhsin Muhammad and Sidney Rice were (in that order).
That said here is one thing I've noticed so far. The WR talent pool is ripe with deep sleepers that can have very productive if not superb years. I've noticed this over the past few weeks in the countless mock drafts I've done on espn.com and the couple real ones i did. What i like to do is grab a certifiable, proven, WR stud early on then fill out the rest with some of these sleepers while focusing on adding depth to my RBs. Now I'd be an asshole to say this and not give examples so here they are, in the order i think they should be drafted along with an explanation which at the end of i list the round and pick nbr they were drafted in the real live draft i was doing on espn.com while i was typing up this entry.
The following 3 WR should be available in rd 5-6
Steve Smith - because of his 2 game suspension you can get a player with 2nd rd talent in the 5th-6th rd. if Delhomme is completely recovered and picks up where he left off last year look for monster numbers in only 14 games. RD 6 #59
Anquan Boldin - Surprisingly enough he is getting drafted with regularity behind less proven WR's like Santonio Holmes and Roddy White. Should be available in the in the 5th rd. I guess people like to have happy wide outs on their fantasy team to boost morale. Rd 5 #46
Jerricho Cotchery - prime for a monster year. he'll benefit equally as much from the addition of Favre as he will from the subtraction of Pennington because of the love affair that Chad and Coles had with each other. overall a great skill set for a receiver and working in an improved offense he should get the ball his way a lot more and won't disappoint. and this is coming from a Jet hating Dolphin fan. In 2007 had 82 catches and 1130 yards but is overlooked cuz he only caught 2 TD's, expect that to change. Rd 6 #55
Most if not all of the rest of these WR will be available in rd 8 or later. Again, listed in the order i think they will be selected.
Bernard Berrian -#1 receiver with deep threat speed, great oline, and one of the best backfields in the NFL. Had Favre got his wish and went to Minnesota he would be an easy 3rd rd pick.
Rd 9 #81
Donald Driver- still has enough left in the tank to have 1 more descent fantasy year even on a Favre-less Packer team. RD 10 #92
Chris Chambers - number one receiver in a good offense. good redzone skills. a full training camp to get acclimated to the offense and a slowed down version of Antonio Gates by the nagging toe injury should result in more targets. RD 13 #122 I could not believe this. I actually just checked to see if he got hurt today and i haven't heard about it yet but no he is fine. How does a #1 wideout out last to rd 13?
Anthony Gonzalez - take a faster Brandon Stokley and add it to Marvin Harrison's increasing age and decreasing health and you have a recipe for a big, break out year. Rd 10 #97
Nate Burleson- the departure of DJ Hackett and injuries to Bobby Engram and Deion Branch leave him the #1 target in a pass happy spread offense. he should shed the label of being a disappointment is Seattle and emerge as a go to receiver and serious deep threat. RD 10 # 94
Patrick Crayton- TO isn't getting any younger but still commands the defenses attention at all times. he becomes the #2 guy in an offense that will score enough TD's to keep everyone happy. look for an increased amount of targets with TO and Witten drawing double coverages and safeties cheating up to keep the beast that is Marion Barber at bay. RD 11 #106
Javon Walker - Maybe its just his name that makes me like him, but he should be around when you get into the double digit rounds. If you can get him in rd 11 or later why not take a flier on him. A good running game should help him have a descent season even if he is just 75% of what he use to be. RD 13 #129
Bryant Johnson - This one is my personal favorite. He should be available in rd 13 or 14 of your draft. A former 1st rd draft pick who never lived up to expectations in Arizona. He has a change of scenery but stays in the division. Has a fresh start and is looking to prove his detractors wrong. Great size and will emerge as the #1 target in a Mike Martz pass happy offense. Undrafted but Roscoe Parrish, Isaac Bruce, Amani Toomer, Muhsin Muhammad and Sidney Rice were (in that order).
Friday, August 15, 2008
Text of the Week 8/8-8/15
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! This is unprecedented. Not only do we have our first back to back, 2peat, winner in the long, storied history of the text of the week competition but we also have our first sweep!!! These two texts were sent in conjunction of one another and will take both the winner and honorable mention spots. By now you should know who the winner is, but lets give him his due.
And the award for text of the week and the first back 2 back winner and first ever sweep goes to................................You guessed it O-Dawg!!!!!!!
Who on 8/15 @ 10:48 am wrote "How hot are those gymnastics girls in the olympics? I jerked off durin the whole floor exercise rotation last night"
Then at 11:13 followed that gem up with "As i was blowin my load i was changing USA USA USA USA USA then i cried. not in shame but in joy and admiration"
O-Dawg, First congratulations. Words can't describe how proud I am of you. Good luck tomorrow in your competition (I would love to make fun of you right now, but i have too much respect for what you did earlier today). Secondly, whether we want to admit it or not, we have all been there.
Everyone, seriously if you see this perverted mother fucker out buy him a shot of Jameson then notify the local authorities that you have an unregistered sex offender within 5o ft of a playground. Kudos to you O-Dawg. You are a patriot and a role model.
And the award for text of the week and the first back 2 back winner and first ever sweep goes to................................You guessed it O-Dawg!!!!!!!
Who on 8/15 @ 10:48 am wrote "How hot are those gymnastics girls in the olympics? I jerked off durin the whole floor exercise rotation last night"
Then at 11:13 followed that gem up with "As i was blowin my load i was changing USA USA USA USA USA then i cried. not in shame but in joy and admiration"
O-Dawg, First congratulations. Words can't describe how proud I am of you. Good luck tomorrow in your competition (I would love to make fun of you right now, but i have too much respect for what you did earlier today). Secondly, whether we want to admit it or not, we have all been there.
Everyone, seriously if you see this perverted mother fucker out buy him a shot of Jameson then notify the local authorities that you have an unregistered sex offender within 5o ft of a playground. Kudos to you O-Dawg. You are a patriot and a role model.
A Quick One
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26218530/
When did everyone become devoid of personal responsibility? I hate people who think everything is someone elses fault. Shit like this is ruining the country. The parents, who let their gay son go to school dressed like a fruit, are trying to hold the school he attended responsible for his death because they did not enforce their dress code. If the parents were so worried about the dress code being enforced why didn't they do it themselves? How come someone else is responsible for the way your child dresses? This crap makes me want to puke. I want to just open hand slap these parents until they cry. All they are really doing is trying to make some money off their sons dead body and that is as despicable of an action as they come.
When did everyone become devoid of personal responsibility? I hate people who think everything is someone elses fault. Shit like this is ruining the country. The parents, who let their gay son go to school dressed like a fruit, are trying to hold the school he attended responsible for his death because they did not enforce their dress code. If the parents were so worried about the dress code being enforced why didn't they do it themselves? How come someone else is responsible for the way your child dresses? This crap makes me want to puke. I want to just open hand slap these parents until they cry. All they are really doing is trying to make some money off their sons dead body and that is as despicable of an action as they come.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
New Olympic Sport
http://msn.foxsports.com/olympics/story/8448176/Olympics-and-safe-sex-...-what's-the-harm-in-that?
A long time ago i heard that the Olympic village that they set up for the athletes is one big party zone and orgy. My friends and I are determined to somehow make it to the Olympics just so we can party in the village. For years we thought the best sport for us to do would be curling at the winter games but now i have a better idea. Lets make our own sport. Who's down for Olympic Karaoke? I want to start it up and be a member of the first Olympic Karaoke team representing USA. Come on, what would you watch first, women's water polo or karaoke? What event would you watch "track cycling" badminton or karaoke? Its not as far fetched as you think, fucking trampoline is a sport. You could have individual karaoke, karaoke pairs, choreographed dance karaoke, the possibilities are endless
A long time ago i heard that the Olympic village that they set up for the athletes is one big party zone and orgy. My friends and I are determined to somehow make it to the Olympics just so we can party in the village. For years we thought the best sport for us to do would be curling at the winter games but now i have a better idea. Lets make our own sport. Who's down for Olympic Karaoke? I want to start it up and be a member of the first Olympic Karaoke team representing USA. Come on, what would you watch first, women's water polo or karaoke? What event would you watch "track cycling" badminton or karaoke? Its not as far fetched as you think, fucking trampoline is a sport. You could have individual karaoke, karaoke pairs, choreographed dance karaoke, the possibilities are endless
On the Lighter Side
http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/26203776/
Haha, how funny would it be if this guy actually made a fake tape and tried to use it in the black mail. He just got a porno tape and digitally altered it by cutting and pasting Tom Coughlin's face onto the male porn stars. And he dubbed over the voices with his own saying, as the guy, "I'm the head coach of the New York Giants Tom Coughlin and I'm fucking you" and then in a girls voice he says "Oh yea keep fucking Tom Coughlin head coach of the New York Giants!"
Haha, how funny would it be if this guy actually made a fake tape and tried to use it in the black mail. He just got a porno tape and digitally altered it by cutting and pasting Tom Coughlin's face onto the male porn stars. And he dubbed over the voices with his own saying, as the guy, "I'm the head coach of the New York Giants Tom Coughlin and I'm fucking you" and then in a girls voice he says "Oh yea keep fucking Tom Coughlin head coach of the New York Giants!"
A Serious One
http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/08/14/duncan.slayings.ap/index.html
I just read this article and it made me sad, depressed and infuriated all at the same time. How come these people are allowed to live? This person had a rap sheet that could one could use to predict something like this happening. How come we live in a fucking PC world where people get 3rd, 4th, and 5th chances right up until something of this magnitude happens? Why is there such an absence of common sense and reason? Why is it not PC to use common sense? If you are a drug dealer or addict prison should be about rehabilitation. If you commit "white collar crimes" or similar non violent offenses it should be part rehab part punishment. If the crime you are convicted of is violent and involves rape or murder prison should be about punishment and punishment only. If your crime involves harming or exploiting children in any way at all it should be straight up punishment for the rest of their lives. Those actions are a behavioral disorder that will never be corrected. Why do we live in such a bullshit society where no matter what you do, no matter who you do it to, or how heinous the action is , you, on most occasions, have to be given at least a 2nd chance, if not more. How come the only time these sicks fucks are dealt with adequately, adequate by current standards that are still wholly inadequate if you ask me, is after something terrible like this happens? You know what the best predictor of future actions are? Past actions. Its also human nature to escalate your actions/behavior as time progresses. I started off gambling 25$ a game only a couple games at a time. That progressed to me betting $50 on every game. That became me betting on the game the regular game then making an additional half time bet. Before you know it I'm calling in $200 or $300 bets with regularity. My behavior escalated with time. Read this article and tell me that you think the way our society currently deals with these sicks fucks is adequate. Right now i want to grab my Fubar and just start bashing skulls. These are the type of ppl that the death penalty is too good for cuz you know it will take at least 10 yrs for the sentence to be carried out only after all appeals have been exhausted and millions of dollars have been wasted. Set up a special jail and put all these sick fucks together and give them a daily routine that alternately subjects them to beatings, mental abuse and manual labor. Give them no more then 2 hrs of sleep each day and the most minimal amt and cheapest food needed to survive on. Why as a society are we so concerned about not infringing on the rights of one individual who is proven to be sick and twisted that our lack of action is at the expense of those most innocent and in need of protection from them?
I just read this article and it made me sad, depressed and infuriated all at the same time. How come these people are allowed to live? This person had a rap sheet that could one could use to predict something like this happening. How come we live in a fucking PC world where people get 3rd, 4th, and 5th chances right up until something of this magnitude happens? Why is there such an absence of common sense and reason? Why is it not PC to use common sense? If you are a drug dealer or addict prison should be about rehabilitation. If you commit "white collar crimes" or similar non violent offenses it should be part rehab part punishment. If the crime you are convicted of is violent and involves rape or murder prison should be about punishment and punishment only. If your crime involves harming or exploiting children in any way at all it should be straight up punishment for the rest of their lives. Those actions are a behavioral disorder that will never be corrected. Why do we live in such a bullshit society where no matter what you do, no matter who you do it to, or how heinous the action is , you, on most occasions, have to be given at least a 2nd chance, if not more. How come the only time these sicks fucks are dealt with adequately, adequate by current standards that are still wholly inadequate if you ask me, is after something terrible like this happens? You know what the best predictor of future actions are? Past actions. Its also human nature to escalate your actions/behavior as time progresses. I started off gambling 25$ a game only a couple games at a time. That progressed to me betting $50 on every game. That became me betting on the game the regular game then making an additional half time bet. Before you know it I'm calling in $200 or $300 bets with regularity. My behavior escalated with time. Read this article and tell me that you think the way our society currently deals with these sicks fucks is adequate. Right now i want to grab my Fubar and just start bashing skulls. These are the type of ppl that the death penalty is too good for cuz you know it will take at least 10 yrs for the sentence to be carried out only after all appeals have been exhausted and millions of dollars have been wasted. Set up a special jail and put all these sick fucks together and give them a daily routine that alternately subjects them to beatings, mental abuse and manual labor. Give them no more then 2 hrs of sleep each day and the most minimal amt and cheapest food needed to survive on. Why as a society are we so concerned about not infringing on the rights of one individual who is proven to be sick and twisted that our lack of action is at the expense of those most innocent and in need of protection from them?
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Past Weekends Activities
I spent from 8/8-8/11 in NC w/ my girlfriend visiting the Icebox. Here are some highlights. I negotiated a successful treaty for the surrender of my moustache and side burns. I shot things, with a real gun. When buying ammo for the gun i almost got flagged cuz i joke about using the ammo to invade a neighboring town. Blatantly stole a beer from a woman not paying attention at the bar (we had just done a shot together and i actually may or may not have paid for the beer, details are fuzzy). Ruled the dance floor, along with the Icebox, at a club called "Ess" in Raleigh. Coined the phrase "meat bucket" as a new term for homosexuals. Spilled 1 Irish Car Bomb all over my white Jeter shirt. Drank 1 beer that was steathily hidden in my ass crack. And prob the best of them all, danced around buck naked on the lawn at a Journey concert. Apparently there are pictures evidencing this maybe even video. All in all it was a pretty kick ass weekend.
Text of the Week 8/1-8/8
A couple days late again but i was too busy dancing naked at the Journey concert and shooting things, with a gun, to update this any earlier. So without further ado...
This weeks winner is.....................................O-Dawg!
Who on 8/4/08 @ 3:56 wrote:
"Yeah Fuckin old chicks sounds pretty fun but then when you're actually doin it and you see them naked its not that fun"
Ill take your word on that that one.
If anyone sees the O-Dawg out get him a beer and make sure your Mom is nowhere to be found.
Honorable Mention: Me
On 8/8/08 @ 4:11 I wrote to Da Crippla:
"How bout you can do better then that. your cum guzzling turd burglar of a mother would have aborted you if she knew this is what you'd become"
I received no response to it, what a bitch.
This weeks winner is.....................................O-Dawg!
Who on 8/4/08 @ 3:56 wrote:
"Yeah Fuckin old chicks sounds pretty fun but then when you're actually doin it and you see them naked its not that fun"
Ill take your word on that that one.
If anyone sees the O-Dawg out get him a beer and make sure your Mom is nowhere to be found.
Honorable Mention: Me
On 8/8/08 @ 4:11 I wrote to Da Crippla:
"How bout you can do better then that. your cum guzzling turd burglar of a mother would have aborted you if she knew this is what you'd become"
I received no response to it, what a bitch.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Text of the week 7/26-8/1
Sorry for the delay but I've been drunk a lot lately. And this caused me to have the mental capacity of a retarted elephant with virtually no functional brain activity yesterday. Last weeks winner is a good one. I'd like to see a few more entrants for this weeks competition. I'll be accepting entries until 4pm et Friday 8/8.
And without further ado the winner is........................................Kev Da Red! Who on 7/31 @ 7:38pm wrote:
"So i was at this fair yesterday and i saw this dude running to a portapotty with a little boy. and i say to my friend jeff, that kids gonna shit his pants. and my buddy jeff said "that or his dad really wants a blow job"
Don't we all kev, don't we all. Folks if you see Kev out buy him a beer, he's earned it.
Honorable Mention
Sent by "Bernard" (Fake name hes kinda gay about his name being attributed to things like this"
"Is it true that black men have purple dicks"
Imagine having both a purple dick and blue balls? Your unit would look like some type of half melted Italian Ice.
And without further ado the winner is........................................Kev Da Red! Who on 7/31 @ 7:38pm wrote:
"So i was at this fair yesterday and i saw this dude running to a portapotty with a little boy. and i say to my friend jeff, that kids gonna shit his pants. and my buddy jeff said "that or his dad really wants a blow job"
Don't we all kev, don't we all. Folks if you see Kev out buy him a beer, he's earned it.
Honorable Mention
Sent by "Bernard" (Fake name hes kinda gay about his name being attributed to things like this"
"Is it true that black men have purple dicks"
Imagine having both a purple dick and blue balls? Your unit would look like some type of half melted Italian Ice.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Check out this story
Is there a bigger scumbag in the NBA?
ESPN.com: Report: Artest responds to Yao's brawl comments
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3512419
ESPN.com: Report: Artest responds to Yao's brawl comments
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3512419
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Yankee Thoughts
Great move today trading Kyle Farnsworth-less straight up for Pudge Rodriguez. they are trading a guy at his absolute peak value to fill a glaring hole in the line up. I can't believe they fooled Detroit into taking back Farnsworth-less for a 2nd stint. Even with as good as he has been over the past month he proved the other nite that he can't be trusted in high pressure situations and was prob at best the 4th but more likely the 5th or 6th best arm in the bullpen. The recent acquisition of Marte made him even more expendable then he was a week ago.This is a brilliant vintage Cashman move. I liken it to the 2000 season when the Yankees were rumored to be trying to acquire Sammy Sosa but instead traded for David Justice who propelled them to World Series Championship and winning the team MVP award despite only playing half a season with them. Before him there was Denny Neagle, who in half a season had they same type of t
impact. This is a great move for so many reasons. If Pudge dislocates his grundle boarding his NY bound plane and never plays one inning for the Yankees it would still be addition by subtraction. There is only 1 other scenario that could have happened to Farnsworth-less that i would have like better then the trade for Pudge. Do you remember, also in 2000, when the Yankees signed Jose Canseco just so Boston wouldn't? How great would it be if we convinced Boston to take Farnsworth-less from us for absolutely nothing at all, just so the Yankees could hit off him in high pressure situations, basically guaranteeing them the pennant. That would have been great.
Here is a trade i want to see happen, this is my own thought, not regurgitated from elsewhere. The Yankees should trade for Maddux. If we are resigned to using a soft throwing righty as our 5th starter we might as well have the best one of all time with oodles of playoff experience. I'm watching Sportscenter as i type this up and Buster Olney was just saying that he is likely to be traded to the Dodgers. That's an interdivision trade, the Yankees should swoop in and steal him away. SD would have to be grateful to clear his salary and would be willing to give him away and would rather not keep him in the same division
impact. This is a great move for so many reasons. If Pudge dislocates his grundle boarding his NY bound plane and never plays one inning for the Yankees it would still be addition by subtraction. There is only 1 other scenario that could have happened to Farnsworth-less that i would have like better then the trade for Pudge. Do you remember, also in 2000, when the Yankees signed Jose Canseco just so Boston wouldn't? How great would it be if we convinced Boston to take Farnsworth-less from us for absolutely nothing at all, just so the Yankees could hit off him in high pressure situations, basically guaranteeing them the pennant. That would have been great.
Here is a trade i want to see happen, this is my own thought, not regurgitated from elsewhere. The Yankees should trade for Maddux. If we are resigned to using a soft throwing righty as our 5th starter we might as well have the best one of all time with oodles of playoff experience. I'm watching Sportscenter as i type this up and Buster Olney was just saying that he is likely to be traded to the Dodgers. That's an interdivision trade, the Yankees should swoop in and steal him away. SD would have to be grateful to clear his salary and would be willing to give him away and would rather not keep him in the same division
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Something New
I am starting something new thing here. Its going to be called "Text Message of the Week" Every week I am going to read through all of the texts ive sent and received and post here the funniest one and an honorable mention. Anyone can win this.
The first ever winner is......................Me
Sent to: Da Crippla on 7/18 @ 6:07pm
"Shes the Freddy Kruger of wet dreams i heard O-Dawg had one with her in it and woke up with Chlymedia funny thing is he double wrapped it in the dream"
This was referring to a girl we went to grade school with who had "loose morals" even in the 7th grade.
Honorable Mention
Sent by: Da Crippla on 7/18 12:36pm
"Now i gotta go see mamma mia. it looks equally as awesome"
Haha what a fag
The first ever winner is......................Me
Sent to: Da Crippla on 7/18 @ 6:07pm
"Shes the Freddy Kruger of wet dreams i heard O-Dawg had one with her in it and woke up with Chlymedia funny thing is he double wrapped it in the dream"
This was referring to a girl we went to grade school with who had "loose morals" even in the 7th grade.
Honorable Mention
Sent by: Da Crippla on 7/18 12:36pm
"Now i gotta go see mamma mia. it looks equally as awesome"
Haha what a fag
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Farewell to a Warrior
I bid you farewell Jason Taylor. You are a true Warrior of the gridiron and the epitome of class. You gave everything you had between those sidelines and will sorely be missed. You always had a knack for being in the right place at the right time and making the big play. You also possess the uncanny ability to always say the right thing at the right time like it was scripted without it ever coming off as rehearsed nor forced. I am sad that i will not see number 99 lining up between the hash marks on Sundays donning the teal and orange but I am happy you will have the chance to at least compete for a playoff spot and possibly more in the wide open NFC. Your decision to leave that number 99 in Miami and to start anew in Washington exudes the elegance in which you have exuded your entire career. Best of luck with the Redskins and thanks for all the hard work and memories.
Rule to Live By
Never assume anything. Especially when your assumption is based on someone else, who is unknown to you, exercising common sense. If you do it will bite you in the ass more times then not.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Mall Nightmare
While in the mall today i saw the most hideous thing I've ever laid my eyes upon. It was walking around on two legs like and amongst humans. Between the two classes of sexes it more dominantly displayed the traits associated with females but i would not call it "female" instead "female-esque" would be much more accurate. (It def didn't have tits, as gross as this abortion was i still looked) Picture what would result if you were able to successfully mate an albino african american and a toad. If you got a mental picture of something directly off the set of the movie "The Island of Dr Moreau" then you are close. This abomination is the masterstroke of gods cruel sense of humor. Ive never out of pity and mercy wanted to kill something more strongly. I fear her/its face will haunt my dreams for years to come.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Hideousness
Today i saw what i will tentatively call a female in the lobby of my building that was so hideous that i can only liken her description to what my first dump would look like after i went on a 3 day binder where i ate nothing but Taco Bell with extra hot sauce and White Castle w/ extra onions. Drinking nothing but Pepe Lopez tequila and capping everything off with a laxative laced milkshake. The abortion that would be in the toilet would prob be about equal in beauty to this mega yummy monstrosity.
Home Run Derby
I watched the Derby last nite, which i always do, and i started off wishing that they would bring back steroids to make it more interesting. But overall in the end i think it was a success and very entertaining for several reasons. First and foremost Josh Hamilton can flat out mash. His stat line from the first rd was 28 HR Avg Dist 445' Long 518' Total Dist 12458'. 3 of them were 500+ ft. One of his shots was an opposite field shot that easily cleared the wall in left center, known as "Death Valley" to the Yankee Stadium faithful. It was quite a show. Other then that there were several entertaining things that happened if you payed attention. When Chase Utley was introduced he got booed by the NY crowd. He wasn't mic'd up but there was one close by cuz you clearly heard him say "Boo? Fuck you." It was absolutely hilarious i watched it at least 5 times. In the first rd Ryan Braun hit a home run off of a "Tysons chicken" sign on the facade of the left field upper deck. The slogan on the sign was "Trimmed and Ready". Trimmed and Ready sounds like the name of a porn that a horny old man would buy who is infatuated with the fact that women now a days shave their bush. During Hamilton's onslaught he hit several balls into the black. On one occasion you see fans running in the black seats after the ball with cops chasing them. The camera cuts away for a second then when it comes back you see a fan in a jersey with the number 7 on the back (it could have been a road Yankees jersey for Mantle but the color looked more light blue then gray) You see the guy in the jersey bolt down a tunnel with a cop following closely behind and you see that a cop clearly has both hands around the neck of the other guy.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Killing Spree
If i was ever to go on a killing spree i would want the Nine Inch Nails CD Broken as the theme music fueling said spree
A Thought
Tonight i heard some news that really made me think about life in general. At the conclusion of each day we should ask ourselves "Is this the end or is this a means to an end" What i mean is when your day is over, is it just over and you are ready to repeat the same actions and lifestyle each day over and over for the rest of your life? Or was this day a step in the direction of something greater. Did it advance your life towards something better. Are you each day working towards a greater goal or are you accepting life with apathy and resigned to live that the boring day over and over until you die with no hope of something better.
Friday, July 11, 2008
What a Tool
I'm at work and there is construction being done on my floor. One of the construction guys is wearing a t-shirt that says, verbatim, "I'd rather be driving my antique car". That's enough, these autobiographical t-shirts have to be stopped, it has gone too far. What that shirt says to me is you are a tool and someone I definitely don't want to get stuck anywhere near to in an enclosed space, like an elevator.
I bet this douche is the type of person who initiates useless annoying chit chat with random people just so he can talk about his antique car. He would have no interest in anything you say cuz all he wants to do is tell you about his car. He's the type that will walk up to a complete stranger and say "How about that game last nite" as a conversation starter. He will not mention a specific game or team but rather he will base the rest of his responses on what you say next. If you take the bait and say give him any type of semi specific response to his query its all over, you're stuck listening to him talk about his car in annoying car speak that you can barely understand and couldn't care less about.
If you say that a team, any team, for any sport, lost, he'll counter by talking about how whatever team you are talking about sucks and they team and players are not as good as they use to be. Notice that you don't even have to specify a team or a sport these asswipes are very tricky. They keep their responses very generic so they can work in any situation.
In the same scenario if you happen to mention that you are talking about a baseball team that lost i can 100% guarantee that the response from Mr. Antique Car Guy will be "They got no pitching" They always, always, always go to a lack of pitching when talking about baseball. Its so easy and generic to to complain about because it works for just about every single team.
Lets tweak this a little and change it from a loss to a win and you mention what team you are talking about. In this scenario what will happen is the other person will choose the best, most recognizable player on the team and talk about how good he is. Here's an example of a hypothetical conversation between yourself and the Antique Douche Bag that could easily happen in your break room. Antique Douche "How about that game last night?" You "Yeah the Yanks won a good one" Antique Douche "That A-Rod is really good, huh." You "Yeah" Antique Douche "I can't wait to get home" You "Me too" Antique Douche "Yea as soon as I walk in I'm gonna start working on my '69 Mustang blah blah blah annoying car speak" Now you're stuck.
What is he really saying when he says "That A-Rod is really good, huh"? You don't need to have any real baseball knowledge to know that A-Rod is good, my Grandmother knows that, in fact both of them do. Also notice how this sly cocksucker throws the "huh" at the end to try to prod you into agreement with him while hes making a generic statement that 99% of people agree with already. Your respone, no matter how bland and uninterested it may sound is an invite to Antique Douche to keep the conversation going.
Another variable here is if you said that your team won and also mention what team a lot of the time he will say "Finally". Here is another hypothetical conversation that could take place in the mens room. Antique Douche "How about that game last nite?" You "Yeah the Toledo Mud Hens won a close one" Antique Douche "Yeah...Finally (chuckle)" You "Sure (with a quizzical look on you face cuz the Mud Hens have won 12 in a row)" Antique Douche " I can't wait to get out of here" You "I hear ya" Antique Douche "I'm going straight to the garage to work on my '73 Hot Rod" You "Cool" Antique Douche "Yea I'm putting _____into the suspension and just got a pair of chrome _______ for the _______ blah blah blah." See a pattern here.
So what this person's t-shirt is really saying here "I'm a tool and avoid me at all costs." Well said dickhead.
Also notice that i have pointed out two other annoying habits this person will almost always have in my 2nd hypothetical conversation. The more egregious of the 2 is he's the type of guy that will talk to another man in the bathroom, while you're taking care ofbusiness. This is one of the worst violations of male etiquette that you can have. That practice really has to stop. Its Un-American to have one male speak to another in a bathroom. This is exponentially made worse if the 2 people don't know each other and if 1 of them, if not both, are actually in the act. It is a direct symbol of why this country is going down the toilet. Men do not socialize in public restrooms. Men do not talk to other men while 1 of them has their hand on their cock or in their assholes. And if they do they are either fags or al-qaeda.
Another annoying trait is that this is the type of person who will will chuckle after everything they say, funny or not. I hate that. They make some ridiculous comment and chuckle at the end expecting you to laugh back. But they do it after almost every sentence they make. I never laugh when someone does that and it creates a very uncomfortable moment that makes the person look like a douche and i love that
I bet this douche is the type of person who initiates useless annoying chit chat with random people just so he can talk about his antique car. He would have no interest in anything you say cuz all he wants to do is tell you about his car. He's the type that will walk up to a complete stranger and say "How about that game last nite" as a conversation starter. He will not mention a specific game or team but rather he will base the rest of his responses on what you say next. If you take the bait and say give him any type of semi specific response to his query its all over, you're stuck listening to him talk about his car in annoying car speak that you can barely understand and couldn't care less about.
If you say that a team, any team, for any sport, lost, he'll counter by talking about how whatever team you are talking about sucks and they team and players are not as good as they use to be. Notice that you don't even have to specify a team or a sport these asswipes are very tricky. They keep their responses very generic so they can work in any situation.
In the same scenario if you happen to mention that you are talking about a baseball team that lost i can 100% guarantee that the response from Mr. Antique Car Guy will be "They got no pitching" They always, always, always go to a lack of pitching when talking about baseball. Its so easy and generic to to complain about because it works for just about every single team.
Lets tweak this a little and change it from a loss to a win and you mention what team you are talking about. In this scenario what will happen is the other person will choose the best, most recognizable player on the team and talk about how good he is. Here's an example of a hypothetical conversation between yourself and the Antique Douche Bag that could easily happen in your break room. Antique Douche "How about that game last night?" You "Yeah the Yanks won a good one" Antique Douche "That A-Rod is really good, huh." You "Yeah" Antique Douche "I can't wait to get home" You "Me too" Antique Douche "Yea as soon as I walk in I'm gonna start working on my '69 Mustang blah blah blah annoying car speak" Now you're stuck.
What is he really saying when he says "That A-Rod is really good, huh"? You don't need to have any real baseball knowledge to know that A-Rod is good, my Grandmother knows that, in fact both of them do. Also notice how this sly cocksucker throws the "huh" at the end to try to prod you into agreement with him while hes making a generic statement that 99% of people agree with already. Your respone, no matter how bland and uninterested it may sound is an invite to Antique Douche to keep the conversation going.
Another variable here is if you said that your team won and also mention what team a lot of the time he will say "Finally". Here is another hypothetical conversation that could take place in the mens room. Antique Douche "How about that game last nite?" You "Yeah the Toledo Mud Hens won a close one" Antique Douche "Yeah...Finally (chuckle)" You "Sure (with a quizzical look on you face cuz the Mud Hens have won 12 in a row)" Antique Douche " I can't wait to get out of here" You "I hear ya" Antique Douche "I'm going straight to the garage to work on my '73 Hot Rod" You "Cool" Antique Douche "Yea I'm putting _____into the suspension and just got a pair of chrome _______ for the _______ blah blah blah." See a pattern here.
So what this person's t-shirt is really saying here "I'm a tool and avoid me at all costs." Well said dickhead.
Also notice that i have pointed out two other annoying habits this person will almost always have in my 2nd hypothetical conversation. The more egregious of the 2 is he's the type of guy that will talk to another man in the bathroom, while you're taking care ofbusiness. This is one of the worst violations of male etiquette that you can have. That practice really has to stop. Its Un-American to have one male speak to another in a bathroom. This is exponentially made worse if the 2 people don't know each other and if 1 of them, if not both, are actually in the act. It is a direct symbol of why this country is going down the toilet. Men do not socialize in public restrooms. Men do not talk to other men while 1 of them has their hand on their cock or in their assholes. And if they do they are either fags or al-qaeda.
Another annoying trait is that this is the type of person who will will chuckle after everything they say, funny or not. I hate that. They make some ridiculous comment and chuckle at the end expecting you to laugh back. But they do it after almost every sentence they make. I never laugh when someone does that and it creates a very uncomfortable moment that makes the person look like a douche and i love that
Severed Feet in British Columbia
Has anyone read anything about the 5 severed feet that have been found along the shore in British Columbia? Over the past year 5 sneakers have been found washed up on different beaches with a foot inside. Local authorities have no idea whose feet they or how or why they are washing up on the shore. Today i read that they used DNA testing to show that 2 of the feet were from the same person. Really? You used DNA testing to figure that one out? You couldnt just figure that out by looking at them? There was a left foot in a left sneaker and a right foot in a right sneaker. They were the same exact same style and size of shoe. Its not all that hard. Its kinda like that game you would play as a kid which had 6 pictures that were very similiar and you had to pick out which set of 2 were exact. If you needed DNA evidence to figure THAT out, then this mystery doesnt have much of a chance of being solved. Could you imagine a 6 yr old trying to use DNA to solve one of those puzzles. They should try testing the DNA of the ocean and see if that gives them any answers.
Random Dolphins Rant
Cam Cameron had to have the worst 1 yr as a professional head coach in the history of team sports. What did he do right? Look at how bad he fucked the Dolphins for years to come in the 2007 draft. Lets look at a hypothetical situation where Brady Quinn is selected instead of Ted Ginn.
2007
Pick #9 Brady Quinn
Pick #40 Tony Ugoh/Sidney Rice/Lamar Woodley/Steve Smith
Pick #61 Samson Satele
2008
Pick #1 Jake Long or Chris Long if Tony Ugoh was picked in 07
Pick #32 Philip Merling or Devin Thomas/Brandon Flowers if Tony Ugoh is selected in 07 and Chris Long in 08
Pick # 58 Dexter Jackson/Terrence Wheatley/Martellus Bennett
In the past 2 years the Fins have used 2 2nd rd picks on QB's and they still arent sure who their 08 opening day starter will be. In addition the WR position is considered weak despite having the #9 pick from last years draft starting. By picking Brady Quinn in 07 youve added 2 quality young starters with the 07 and 08 2nd rd picks used on Henne and Beck and you have a clear cut young QB that will be with the franchise for a long time. I would be much more confident in this team to be competitive this year and years to come . I think the best thing Cam Cameron did was get himself fired.
2007
Pick #9 Brady Quinn
Pick #40 Tony Ugoh/Sidney Rice/Lamar Woodley/Steve Smith
Pick #61 Samson Satele
2008
Pick #1 Jake Long or Chris Long if Tony Ugoh was picked in 07
Pick #32 Philip Merling or Devin Thomas/Brandon Flowers if Tony Ugoh is selected in 07 and Chris Long in 08
Pick # 58 Dexter Jackson/Terrence Wheatley/Martellus Bennett
In the past 2 years the Fins have used 2 2nd rd picks on QB's and they still arent sure who their 08 opening day starter will be. In addition the WR position is considered weak despite having the #9 pick from last years draft starting. By picking Brady Quinn in 07 youve added 2 quality young starters with the 07 and 08 2nd rd picks used on Henne and Beck and you have a clear cut young QB that will be with the franchise for a long time. I would be much more confident in this team to be competitive this year and years to come . I think the best thing Cam Cameron did was get himself fired.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Sean Avery
When the Rangers were evaluating whether or not to resign Avery the only numbers that should have payed attention to are as follows: 50-20-16 with him in the lineup 9-13-3 without him. That should be the end of the discussion. If for some reason those numbers weren't enough next you should look at his playoff performance in game 3 against the Penguins when he ruptured his spleen in the first period, didn't miss a shift and saw more and more ice time as the game progressed because it was a must win and the Rangers were losing. This literally almost killed him. Next you should listen to the ovation he got from fans every single home game. The label fan favorite really doesn't do it justice. Next you should look to his performance against NJ in the playoffs this year and Atlanta last year. Last year he got so far under the Thrasher's skin they made their whole series about getting back at Avery and not winning the game. The Rangers won their first playoff series in 10 yrs. Avery's uncanny ability was best displayed when in game 3 or 4 one of Atl most prolific offensive players, Ilya Kovalchuk, took a run at Avery and got himself a game misconduct. This year he incensed one of the best goalies of all time, Martin Brodeur, that he wouldn't even shake his hand as customary at the end of the series. The Rangers won the series 4-1. The Rangers average 4 goals a game in their wins and Avery had 3 goals and 2 assists total. They average 4 goals a game against one of the greatest goalies, playoffs and regular season who is also the 2008 Vezina Trophy winner in Martin Brodeur. How can all of that value go unnoticed and not rewarded? I'm going to watch a lot less Ranger hockey next year cuz Averys not there.
Child Molesters
There is one universal trait that all child molesters share. Young and old across the globe there is one thing they all have in common, at least all the ones that i have seen. They all look like child molesters. Whenever i read a story about some demented kid touching scum bag no matter their age or where they live they always look like a your prototypical pervert. Every other day it seems i read about some sick fuck on the Internet. Today i read about some piece of shit in Vermont that kidnapped his 12 yr old niece, brought her into a sex ring and then killed her. A month ago it was that 73 yr old creep out in Austria (i think maybe Australia) that chained his daughter to a wall in a dungeon underneath his home and raped her and she would get pregnant and have children. That fuck thought he should be treated w/ leniency because he noticed the daughter he held captive and raped repeatedly didn't look right he was a good man and took her to the hospital. FUCK YOU! That same day i read a story about a 17 yr old molester in NY abusing a small child that was related to him. They both looked like child molesters, this is a pattern I've noticed for years. If these people were actors they would all play child molesters on Law and Order: SVU. Just close your eyes and picture what you think a child molester should look like and I bet will will be pretty close to these three scum bags. We live in a place where no one is supposed to judge anyone. A horrible PC world that makes me sicker everyday. Maybe there are certain scenarios where we should judge a book by its cover like for example when it comes to the safety of children.
On a side note i may actually vote for the first time in a long time just because Obama says he supports the death penalty for child rapists. I know McCain said he does too but Obama said it first and the people were supportive of that so McCain piggy backed it. (Don't give me some garbage that it will only lead to more children who are raped being killed instead of let go. Theres no controlling these perverts. They are going to do what they want to do, they are incapable or rational thought, as evidenced by their repugnant actions. Once they have their perv switch on theres is no deterrent in their actions.) However since it was the Supreme Court that shot down this idea I don't know how much influence a supportive President could have because SC Justices are elected to life terms.
On a side note i may actually vote for the first time in a long time just because Obama says he supports the death penalty for child rapists. I know McCain said he does too but Obama said it first and the people were supportive of that so McCain piggy backed it. (Don't give me some garbage that it will only lead to more children who are raped being killed instead of let go. Theres no controlling these perverts. They are going to do what they want to do, they are incapable or rational thought, as evidenced by their repugnant actions. Once they have their perv switch on theres is no deterrent in their actions.) However since it was the Supreme Court that shot down this idea I don't know how much influence a supportive President could have because SC Justices are elected to life terms.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Sexy Watermelon
On the home page on CNN.com theres a story with the headline "Want better sex? Eat watermelon" So thats why the negros cocks are so big.
An Optimistic World
How much better would the world be if everyone adopted a much more optimistic view of everything. For example if you were a doctor who has to tell a set of parents that their son died and you went to them and said "I regret to inform you that your son has passed away. I'm sorry for your loss." and left it at that, of course they are going to be upset because you've offered them no upside.
Lets suppose now this same doctor went to these same parents, with the same news and started off with the same two statements as above but this time added a twist. This time the doctor added "But hey, think of it this way at least when hes 23 youll never have to bail him out of jail for the statutory rape of a 12 yr old boy. Ya know?"In that scenario the parents would have something to be happy about.
Lets take it a step further with someone really willing to go the extra mile, this time he says "I regret to inform you that your son has died, I am sorry for your loss. But you know, think about all the money in college tuition you'll be saving...Huh...Right? Instead of wasting a ton of money on a degree that he'd never use or on a school that he'll flunk out of before graduating you can get some R and R at the beach house you bought instead. Awesome!" Then the doctor just stands there with a goofy grin on his face nodding yes and says "HIGH FIVE" or "OH YEA, UP HIGH" That one is alot funnier if you picture Will Farrell as the doctor.
We've examined this scenario as it pertains to a dead son but its not limited to only that situation, lets change this from a dead son to a dead daughter. "Hey, sorry your daughter died but it could be worse. One day you could have a few peaceful minutes to yourself and you decide to cruise the Internet for some porn to, you know, rub one out cuz your cunt of a wife hasn't spread her legs for you in like 6 mos cuz shes prob fucking her boss. WHORE! So anyway there you are finally taking care of business in peace, and, oh yea this is years and years from now and you've watched so much porn that the only way you an get it up now is by some real freaky shit. So anyway, there you are getting the job done and then all of a sudden on the computer screen your daughter, who's like 19 at the time, appears and she proceeds to get tag teamed on one end by her cousin Billy, who's black, and on the other end theres a German Shepherd. And you are so far into your procedure that you cant stop yourself and you finish just as the German Shepherd shits all over your daughters chest. So you should stop your crying and be thankful that you will never have to deal with any of that." Then the doctor should angrily storm away muttering "Fucking faggot" That may be taking it a bit too far.
So these are clear examples how adopting a glass is half full type of outlook on life the world will be a much better place.
Lets suppose now this same doctor went to these same parents, with the same news and started off with the same two statements as above but this time added a twist. This time the doctor added "But hey, think of it this way at least when hes 23 youll never have to bail him out of jail for the statutory rape of a 12 yr old boy. Ya know?"In that scenario the parents would have something to be happy about.
Lets take it a step further with someone really willing to go the extra mile, this time he says "I regret to inform you that your son has died, I am sorry for your loss. But you know, think about all the money in college tuition you'll be saving...Huh...Right? Instead of wasting a ton of money on a degree that he'd never use or on a school that he'll flunk out of before graduating you can get some R and R at the beach house you bought instead. Awesome!" Then the doctor just stands there with a goofy grin on his face nodding yes and says "HIGH FIVE" or "OH YEA, UP HIGH" That one is alot funnier if you picture Will Farrell as the doctor.
We've examined this scenario as it pertains to a dead son but its not limited to only that situation, lets change this from a dead son to a dead daughter. "Hey, sorry your daughter died but it could be worse. One day you could have a few peaceful minutes to yourself and you decide to cruise the Internet for some porn to, you know, rub one out cuz your cunt of a wife hasn't spread her legs for you in like 6 mos cuz shes prob fucking her boss. WHORE! So anyway there you are finally taking care of business in peace, and, oh yea this is years and years from now and you've watched so much porn that the only way you an get it up now is by some real freaky shit. So anyway, there you are getting the job done and then all of a sudden on the computer screen your daughter, who's like 19 at the time, appears and she proceeds to get tag teamed on one end by her cousin Billy, who's black, and on the other end theres a German Shepherd. And you are so far into your procedure that you cant stop yourself and you finish just as the German Shepherd shits all over your daughters chest. So you should stop your crying and be thankful that you will never have to deal with any of that." Then the doctor should angrily storm away muttering "Fucking faggot" That may be taking it a bit too far.
So these are clear examples how adopting a glass is half full type of outlook on life the world will be a much better place.
Maria Sharapova
Is she old enough to take a penis yet? If so i think im gonna send her a picture of mine
Slow Driver's in the left lane
Is there anything more infuriating then slow motherfucking drivers in the left goddamn lane? Today Im cruising on the Turnpike in the left lane. Its about 8:45 so i can not yet get into the car pool lane cuz ive gotten a couple of warnings about that and i dont want to push it. So here i am, theres not really traffic but it is congested. Im doing less then 60 mph, again in the left lane, thoroughly annoyed. Then the car in front of me, an explorer gets over. Then, im not making this up, i find myself driving behind a horse. A live fucking horse staring back at me at 8:45 in the morning in the left lane on the NJ Turnpike driving 5 mph under the speed limit. What the fuck, i thought i was having one of those dreams where you wake up, take a shower and get dressed then leave for work, like its a normal day. And the dream feels so real cuz its just like your ordinary day, but then something ridiculous happens and you know youre dreaming. Like on the way to your car you see someone that you havent seen in 15 yrs. Or you get to your office only to realize that you forgot to put pants on. Then you realize its a dream and you wake up and have overslept. Well i legitimately thought that happened today. What did i do? I gave the horse the finger, cut off the truck carrying the horse by using the HOV lane, yelled "Fuck You" as i passed him and gave him the finger and jammed on my brakes when i got in front of him. What fucking shithead is driving around with a horse in the left lane? This shit happens all the time and it drives me nuts. Assholes who block up traffic making everything more dangerous cuz what happens is people behind them drive like reckless Jap kamikaze pilots to get around them putting everything within 100 feet of them in danger. You see it all the time although its not usually horses most of the times its boats. These fucking shitheads driving around doing 50mph carrying a boat. Hey douche bag why dont you follow this simple rule, only one vehicle in the left lane at a time. If you are on the road and attached to what you are driving is anything larger then a bike stay to the right bitch, Also to these assholes whose biggest thrill in life is driving 65 mph in the left lane, knock that shit off pls. Get your thrills else where if you want to live "dangerously" and get in the left lane be prepared to drive minimum 75 mph. You adrenaline junkie thrill seeking asses back to the right lane.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Pokerstars conversation
So Im playing poker last nite on pokerstars and i got my chat priveleges suspended and i got the following email from them. This douche bag, whos name was seabiscuit_7, was the table "pro" complaining about how everyone played, critiquing them, like hes some big shot high roller poker pro. Who is playing 10$ sit and go's at 2am. Anyway he didnt like something i did and decided to wine about it. then after i couldnt chat anymore he began talking shit. if you play on pokerstart and you ever come across seabiscuit_7 tell him hes a little bitch. Below is the email i got notifying my chat has been suspended it contains a copy of the what i said that they found to be inappropriate
Hello rgilligan70,
We have received a complaint regarding some things you said in chatat our tables. I have reviewed the chat log and did find some of yourcomments to be inappropriate.
Our goal at PokerStars is to be a fun place to play, where everyonecan feel comfortable. Foul language and abuse of other players takesaway from everyone's enjoyment, and therefore cannot be permitted.
We must ask you to refrain from using this type of language in thefuture, or we will be forced to remove your chat privileges.
Please note that you may not be the only one receiving a message suchas this. When we receive a chat complaint, we review the entire chatof all players at the table. Any other offenders at the table werealso warned or revoked as appropriate to our policies.
Regards,
JuanPokerStars Support Team
---195074085 rgilligan70 hahaha fucking seabiscuit 9 6/29/2008 1:47:01 AM195074085 rgilligan70 so gay 9 6/29/2008 1:47:08 AM195074085 rgilligan70 seabitch if i ever catch you within 100 yards of my dog ill fuck you up 9 6/29/2008 1:50:12 AM195074085 rgilligan70 s..l..u..t.. 9 6/29/2008 1:52:08 AM195074085 rgilligan70 hey seabiz nice boat...faggot 9 6/29/2008 1:52:50 AM195074085 rgilligan70 hey seabiz you ever see a live vagina 9 6/29/2008 1:55:29 AM195074085 rgilligan70 v//a///g//i//n//a 9 6/29/2008 1:55:45 AM195074085 rgilligan70 hes got a banana d..i..c..k 9 6/29/2008 1:56:48 AM195074085 rgilligan70 i know hes prob got us on mute, just like his dead mother he skull fu..cks 9 6/29/2008 1:57:47 AM
Hello rgilligan70,
We have received a complaint regarding some things you said in chatat our tables. I have reviewed the chat log and did find some of yourcomments to be inappropriate.
Our goal at PokerStars is to be a fun place to play, where everyonecan feel comfortable. Foul language and abuse of other players takesaway from everyone's enjoyment, and therefore cannot be permitted.
We must ask you to refrain from using this type of language in thefuture, or we will be forced to remove your chat privileges.
Please note that you may not be the only one receiving a message suchas this. When we receive a chat complaint, we review the entire chatof all players at the table. Any other offenders at the table werealso warned or revoked as appropriate to our policies.
Regards,
JuanPokerStars Support Team
---195074085 rgilligan70 hahaha fucking seabiscuit 9 6/29/2008 1:47:01 AM195074085 rgilligan70 so gay 9 6/29/2008 1:47:08 AM195074085 rgilligan70 seabitch if i ever catch you within 100 yards of my dog ill fuck you up 9 6/29/2008 1:50:12 AM195074085 rgilligan70 s..l..u..t.. 9 6/29/2008 1:52:08 AM195074085 rgilligan70 hey seabiz nice boat...faggot 9 6/29/2008 1:52:50 AM195074085 rgilligan70 hey seabiz you ever see a live vagina 9 6/29/2008 1:55:29 AM195074085 rgilligan70 v//a///g//i//n//a 9 6/29/2008 1:55:45 AM195074085 rgilligan70 hes got a banana d..i..c..k 9 6/29/2008 1:56:48 AM195074085 rgilligan70 i know hes prob got us on mute, just like his dead mother he skull fu..cks 9 6/29/2008 1:57:47 AM
Friday, June 27, 2008
Yankee thoughts
Am i the only one that thinks Molina is way over rated behind the plate? He has a great arm and thats about it. Every time he catches all the announcers do is talk about how great he is behind the plate but all he really does well is throw. He never gets down to block balls in the dirt, he is very lazy. 2 examples in Joba's last start the play where the pitch got behind Molina and Joba covered home and blocked the plate and the runner on 3rd trying to take home was out. Well that was called a passed ball and if Joba didnt block the plate the runner from 3rd would have been safe and even worse imagine if he would have gotten hurt on that play. Tonite Molina had another passed ball on a pitch in the dirt he tried to backhand, with runners on, and made no attempt to block. Ive seen this happen more often then mentioned here but i cant remember exactly when. Next reason, does anyone else notice how much he moves around while receiving the ball? When Posada is behind the plate he is perfectly still and catches the ball and frames it without hardly moving at all. Watch Molina catching the ball, his whole body moves. Alot of the time he starts in a crouch but then inexplicably drops down to one knee as the ball approaches. Alot of the time his glove will follow the plane of a breaking ball and hell stab at the ball to catch it. That, combined with the fact that he starts in the crouch then shifts and drops his knee to the ground sometimes gets strikes called balls, esp on breaking balls. Hes moving around so much that he negatively influences the call from the ump. The last thing that i see him do that drives me absolutely nuts is sometimes when he is setting up for a pitch he'll set his entire body outside the strike zone but his glove will be in the zone. This baffles me. His entire body is set outside of the strike zone, except for his glove. The pitcher will then hit him in the glove but the ump will call it a ball based on where his body was prob cuz his fat ass was blocking his view. Last point, based on what i see, i dont think he calls a good game. Remember how many times Joba shook him off earlier in the season and it almost seemed like they they had a problem. I dont really dislike Molina that much, I think hes a great backup, I just hate how whenever he is in they talk about how great he is defensively especially saying that he is superior to Posada. The only thing he does better then Jorge is throw. Jorge calls a better game, receives the ball better and blocks balls in the dirt better.
Speaking of Posada, absolutely atrocious that he caught the first game of a double header and had to sit for game 2. Posada should have been the DH in game 1, Molina or Moeller should have caught so that Jorge could have been behind the plate in game 2. The Yankees are still carrying 3 catchers! Why have them if your not going to use them correctly. The correct move would have been to have Moeller start the thurs nite game in Pitt that got rained out. In game 1 of the double header start Molina behind the plate, Giambi at first and Posada as the DH. Game 2 Posada would have been behind the plate.
Recently it has become very popular to bash Jeter, most notably on the defensive side. I know one of the popular baseball prediction publications listed him as the worst defensive SS in the majors. Did anyone see the play he made in the 1st inning of the nite game where he went towards the 3rd base side, gloved the ball and fired an absolute strike to first to get a speedy Castillo by a hair. He made a similar play later in the game, either the 5th or 6th inning most likely. It was a ball that should have been A-Rods, but he missed it and Jeter was right there and got the runner at 1st. Jeter's range up the middle has never been amazing but overall he is far from the bottom of the barrel. The 2nd thing they rip on is his arm and he def has one of the better arms at the position he just doesnt show it off.
Staying on the subject of Jeter, are they any Yankee fans out there with memories that extend longer then 2 yrs ago? For the first 10 yrs of his career he was a late starter who didnt really get hot until June. His last 2 yrs, contrary to his career trends, he got off to a hot start right away. This year, off to a good start, then beamed in the hand w/ a 96 mph fastball. He doesnt miss a game, but then goes into a slump. These ignorant fans are starting to talk about how Jeter is washed up, instead of realizing 2 things, 1st this is basically he is on line with the rest of his career trends and the years where he had the 2 good starts were aberrations and 2nd his hand was fucked up. Jeter is going to hit about .320 and make all those morons saying hes done look like complete idiots. The same argument can be made for Cano. Cano got off to a paltry start, however the same can be said for the last 2 yrs. This yr might have been a little worse then the past, but not by much. Cano does not start really getting hot until July-August. Thats how hes always been, why should we expect different from him. I hate all these dumbass, short term memory, Yankee "fans".
Speaking of Posada, absolutely atrocious that he caught the first game of a double header and had to sit for game 2. Posada should have been the DH in game 1, Molina or Moeller should have caught so that Jorge could have been behind the plate in game 2. The Yankees are still carrying 3 catchers! Why have them if your not going to use them correctly. The correct move would have been to have Moeller start the thurs nite game in Pitt that got rained out. In game 1 of the double header start Molina behind the plate, Giambi at first and Posada as the DH. Game 2 Posada would have been behind the plate.
Recently it has become very popular to bash Jeter, most notably on the defensive side. I know one of the popular baseball prediction publications listed him as the worst defensive SS in the majors. Did anyone see the play he made in the 1st inning of the nite game where he went towards the 3rd base side, gloved the ball and fired an absolute strike to first to get a speedy Castillo by a hair. He made a similar play later in the game, either the 5th or 6th inning most likely. It was a ball that should have been A-Rods, but he missed it and Jeter was right there and got the runner at 1st. Jeter's range up the middle has never been amazing but overall he is far from the bottom of the barrel. The 2nd thing they rip on is his arm and he def has one of the better arms at the position he just doesnt show it off.
Staying on the subject of Jeter, are they any Yankee fans out there with memories that extend longer then 2 yrs ago? For the first 10 yrs of his career he was a late starter who didnt really get hot until June. His last 2 yrs, contrary to his career trends, he got off to a hot start right away. This year, off to a good start, then beamed in the hand w/ a 96 mph fastball. He doesnt miss a game, but then goes into a slump. These ignorant fans are starting to talk about how Jeter is washed up, instead of realizing 2 things, 1st this is basically he is on line with the rest of his career trends and the years where he had the 2 good starts were aberrations and 2nd his hand was fucked up. Jeter is going to hit about .320 and make all those morons saying hes done look like complete idiots. The same argument can be made for Cano. Cano got off to a paltry start, however the same can be said for the last 2 yrs. This yr might have been a little worse then the past, but not by much. Cano does not start really getting hot until July-August. Thats how hes always been, why should we expect different from him. I hate all these dumbass, short term memory, Yankee "fans".
What a gay thing to say to another man
Im in my break room getting myself a delicious diet coke. I approach the soda machine armed with the first of 3 quarters that i will need to complete my transaction. I fumble it and accidentally drop it. Approaching from my right there is a "man". A man who looks like the Uncle your parents would never leave you alone with. The type of "man" that has birthday parties for his cats (thats an Artie Lange line). The type of "man" that orders decaf cinnamon lattes. Well upon seeing me drop my quarter he says "whoops", what a gay thing to say. I dont know this alleged man but i have long suspected him of being a homosexual. His actions today confirmed my suspicions and i now have concrete evidence that he likesa da cock. The only time as a man you can say "whoops" and it not be an indicator that youre a flaming gay is if youre fucking a girl and pull the ole stick it in the butt on accident, but really on purpose, maneuver. Then when the girl gets annoyed you say "whoops" to try to sell it as an accidental slip. But even then instead of saying whoops, you should just pull an O'halloran and jump out the window cuz if the uptight bitch doesnt want a cock up her tight ass and gets annoyed when put one there, shes prob no fun and you should abort the mission...after you jerk off on her back of course...and steal 20$ from her purse.
Danilo Gallinari
I love it. Booing this pick is retarted. Whats wrong with a 6'10" player who can shoot the 3, handle the ball, run the floor and pass? I bet the people that booed this pick are the same morons that cheered last year when they heard about the Channing Frye for Zach Randolph trade. Yeah that one worked out real well.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Steroids
When did steroids become the most important issue in the world today. Did steroids somehow contribute to the rise in oil prices and the fall of the economy. Why is it news that Terry Bradshaw took roids 30 yrs ago, when they were legal and everyone else in the NFL was. Why is it news that some race horses are given steroids, another legal practice. Is there legitimate concern that the ponys of today and the future will begin experimenting with illegal substances to gain a competitive advantage? Is there an outcry in the horse community that the sport needs to be cleaned up? You know what steroids really do? They make sports more exciting. I know for the most part this issue has settled some but why do i need to read 15 different stories about Roger Clemens appearing before Congress to answer questions pertaining to something he may or may not have put into his body close to a decade ago. Are Roger Clemens career strike out numbers and wins a matter of national security? Did he buy these roids in question directly from Al-Qaeda. Did he fly to Afghanastan and personally purchase them from Osama Bin Laden? It just never ends. How stupid are we as a country. Which one of these two examples would have a tangible negative effect no the quality of life of your average American, spending 75$ 2 or 3x a week to fill their tank or living with the knowledge that Barry Bonds career home run and season records are bullshit? Were being treated like a bunch of morons, were supposed to ignore real social issues and all rally behind the steroid cause. It really makes me sick. I want a Congressional investigation to be done on how much money and time has been wasted on investigating steroids in sports and to find better use for those resources. I would never vote for anyone who ever had anything to do with any of that bullshit. Basically what i hear is "yeah i know gas is 5$ a gallon but at least no one on the Brewers is on the sauce so vote for me."
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Excerpt from my memoirs
The following was written originally on 8/16/06
I'm chasing history today. As of 10:45am I've already taken 3 shits. For some reason the hands of fate and destiny have given me a chance to be great and I have to grab the opportunity w/ both hands. Already i feel a case of baboon ass settling in and i have an anal burning sensation. I know each wipe will hurt more then the last but I'm ready. If i start drinking large amounts of coffee to try to tip the scale in my favor a little is that considered cheating? This won't be easy but I'm going to give it my best shot. Sometimes you don't choose greatness, it chooses you!
This black dude is seriously scary looking. Not thugged out scary like the type that would make an old white woman clutch her purse tighter but more like a freaky looking rejected X-Files character. It looks like he swam here from Jamaica or some Caribbean Island to eat white children or something weird like that. His skin tone is so odd its creepy I really can't describe him overall other then he's fucking weird looking.
Today i spoke to some woman from New Orleans who really annoyed the fuck out of me. She was just a mindless rude idiot who made no sense when she spoke and made everything a lot more difficult then it actually was. At the time i wanted to say to her "You think Katrina was bad? Wait til Hurricane Gilligan blows through your neighborhood. Category 5 bitch, maximum damage. A hurricane of pure pain demolishing you and all your loved ones." This woman was definitely a senior citizen.
This Mexican dude is walking around the train station wearing suit pants and a tank top. Huh?
There is an allegation that the color of my pubes is "Strawberry Blonde". Fuck that, they are light brown. That allegation is completely unfounded and erroneous.
This woman has the oldest pair of boobs that I've ever leered at. If you look at her face, easily she looks like she is in her early to mid 50s. But if you were to just look at her big ole titties that are hanging out and based your guess on those lovely beauties alone, i would say not a day over 25. Nice rack grandma.
This guy on the train looks like a Columbian drug lord circa 1975-1985. If this other guy had long hair instead of balding he would look like he walked right off the set of Braveheart.
At first i thought that the old bitch with the sweet boobies might be dead because she was sprawled out on the seat with her eyes closed and not moving but as i started to write down that thought she walked past me. I guess she was just seriously passed the fuck out. Her sweet titties were bouncing all around and she had a nice ass too. Her face was all old and decrepit. If she told me I could fuck her I'd prob just titty fuck the shit out of those badboys and leave her vagina untouched. Figure it this way the lubrication situation on titty fucking her has to be at least the same as it would be with her wrinkley, crusty old vag. If she told me i could raw dog her and nut in her cuz her barren baby maker ceased functioning before i was born i would say "Na i'll pass for a couple reasons. First, raw dogging that dried out cunt sounds like it would hurt. Secondly you prob have some ancient STD's going on down there that haven't been seen in decades. Shit that they don't have vaccines for anymore because there have been no reported cases within the past 30 yrs. I'd fuck you and my dick would come out w/ Polio or the Black Plague or some shit like that."
Holy shit I think Dennis Eckersley is on my train! The Eck! Fucking A!
People who talk on trains at a decibel level too loud should be strung up then slowly dipped into a pool of scalding hot feces/urine/semen and boiled alive. I know that you're happy as hell to be on your big train ride and would love to talk about it but i do this everyday and just sat in an office and talked to annoying fucks, like yourself, who just won't shut up all day. Bitch right now I'd much rather you lived in Ohio or Minnesota as well so the feeling is mutual.
Only the 3 shits today and its 7:57pm, that sucks. I really thought this morning was the start of something legendary but i fizzled out. If i had kept track of my urine today i could have possibly cracked the top 5 but its not really the same. Wow, a spiky haired Asian guy just walked by. What an original idea for a hairstyle you have. I never saw the old spike cut on an Asian before. (Being sarcastic of course)
The vibrations from the bumpy train ride causes my fat to jiggle. Does that count as exercise?
I'm chasing history today. As of 10:45am I've already taken 3 shits. For some reason the hands of fate and destiny have given me a chance to be great and I have to grab the opportunity w/ both hands. Already i feel a case of baboon ass settling in and i have an anal burning sensation. I know each wipe will hurt more then the last but I'm ready. If i start drinking large amounts of coffee to try to tip the scale in my favor a little is that considered cheating? This won't be easy but I'm going to give it my best shot. Sometimes you don't choose greatness, it chooses you!
This black dude is seriously scary looking. Not thugged out scary like the type that would make an old white woman clutch her purse tighter but more like a freaky looking rejected X-Files character. It looks like he swam here from Jamaica or some Caribbean Island to eat white children or something weird like that. His skin tone is so odd its creepy I really can't describe him overall other then he's fucking weird looking.
Today i spoke to some woman from New Orleans who really annoyed the fuck out of me. She was just a mindless rude idiot who made no sense when she spoke and made everything a lot more difficult then it actually was. At the time i wanted to say to her "You think Katrina was bad? Wait til Hurricane Gilligan blows through your neighborhood. Category 5 bitch, maximum damage. A hurricane of pure pain demolishing you and all your loved ones." This woman was definitely a senior citizen.
This Mexican dude is walking around the train station wearing suit pants and a tank top. Huh?
There is an allegation that the color of my pubes is "Strawberry Blonde". Fuck that, they are light brown. That allegation is completely unfounded and erroneous.
This woman has the oldest pair of boobs that I've ever leered at. If you look at her face, easily she looks like she is in her early to mid 50s. But if you were to just look at her big ole titties that are hanging out and based your guess on those lovely beauties alone, i would say not a day over 25. Nice rack grandma.
This guy on the train looks like a Columbian drug lord circa 1975-1985. If this other guy had long hair instead of balding he would look like he walked right off the set of Braveheart.
At first i thought that the old bitch with the sweet boobies might be dead because she was sprawled out on the seat with her eyes closed and not moving but as i started to write down that thought she walked past me. I guess she was just seriously passed the fuck out. Her sweet titties were bouncing all around and she had a nice ass too. Her face was all old and decrepit. If she told me I could fuck her I'd prob just titty fuck the shit out of those badboys and leave her vagina untouched. Figure it this way the lubrication situation on titty fucking her has to be at least the same as it would be with her wrinkley, crusty old vag. If she told me i could raw dog her and nut in her cuz her barren baby maker ceased functioning before i was born i would say "Na i'll pass for a couple reasons. First, raw dogging that dried out cunt sounds like it would hurt. Secondly you prob have some ancient STD's going on down there that haven't been seen in decades. Shit that they don't have vaccines for anymore because there have been no reported cases within the past 30 yrs. I'd fuck you and my dick would come out w/ Polio or the Black Plague or some shit like that."
Holy shit I think Dennis Eckersley is on my train! The Eck! Fucking A!
People who talk on trains at a decibel level too loud should be strung up then slowly dipped into a pool of scalding hot feces/urine/semen and boiled alive. I know that you're happy as hell to be on your big train ride and would love to talk about it but i do this everyday and just sat in an office and talked to annoying fucks, like yourself, who just won't shut up all day. Bitch right now I'd much rather you lived in Ohio or Minnesota as well so the feeling is mutual.
Only the 3 shits today and its 7:57pm, that sucks. I really thought this morning was the start of something legendary but i fizzled out. If i had kept track of my urine today i could have possibly cracked the top 5 but its not really the same. Wow, a spiky haired Asian guy just walked by. What an original idea for a hairstyle you have. I never saw the old spike cut on an Asian before. (Being sarcastic of course)
The vibrations from the bumpy train ride causes my fat to jiggle. Does that count as exercise?
Anal dwarfs
Once I read a news article about an 86 yr old nun who was hit and killed by a car while running an errand on her day off. Can a nun get laid on her "day off"? If not, then i really wouldn't consider it a day off.
The most annoying saying has to be "it is what it is". I fucking hate that. I hate the ppl that use it even more cuz they say it like its this profound statement that will change the course of mankind. No idiot all you did is point out the obvious you are not some uber-scholar you're just some dim-witted fat ass. I say that because if you notice "it is what it is" is used most frequently by fatasses. When someone says that i want to look at them and say "Thank you for not contributing anything at all intellectually to this conversation. You have the mental capacity of an elephant with down syndrome. Your presence here physically makes me ill. Isn't there a cheeseburger somewhere waiting for you to eat it. (Then i kick him in the nuts and stand there and watch him writhe in pain and make funny faces)."
The most annoying saying has to be "it is what it is". I fucking hate that. I hate the ppl that use it even more cuz they say it like its this profound statement that will change the course of mankind. No idiot all you did is point out the obvious you are not some uber-scholar you're just some dim-witted fat ass. I say that because if you notice "it is what it is" is used most frequently by fatasses. When someone says that i want to look at them and say "Thank you for not contributing anything at all intellectually to this conversation. You have the mental capacity of an elephant with down syndrome. Your presence here physically makes me ill. Isn't there a cheeseburger somewhere waiting for you to eat it. (Then i kick him in the nuts and stand there and watch him writhe in pain and make funny faces)."
Nothing special
Seeing bush is awesome. For a while ive said if you put some full frontal female nudity or at least just bush in chick flicks, then every guy would go to see them, thus doubling their audience and profits. Fuck, if they showed bush at those "Stations of the Cross" reenactments that they do in church around easter time i would be at church every day.
My new favorite sexual terms are scissoring or scissor fight, frottage and felching
My new favorite sexual terms are scissoring or scissor fight, frottage and felching
Monday, June 23, 2008
My 3 favorite new sayings
1. Pussy-Vanilla-Cracker
2. Pussy-Douchebag
3. Slampig
I thank Fernanda for 1 and 2
2. Pussy-Douchebag
3. Slampig
I thank Fernanda for 1 and 2
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Evening update
Tonite Amanda came down with Oscar. We hung out and a drank a decent amount of beer and watched Top Gun and In The Name Of The Father. Both movies are awesome. I think for now on during sex i am going to make Amanda call me Iceman.
Friday, June 20, 2008
I'm really bored these are taken from my memoirs 2nd edition
I have nothing to do at work and this is going into overkill because i just started this today and i know if i am lucky enough to have 1 other person join this thing i doubt theyll care enough nor have the time to read everything ive posted today but who gives a fuck im not doing this for them im doing it for me. So pretty much im saying fuck you, but in a good way. This is an entry i made into my 2nd book of memoirs that i kept while i was riding the train to and from work and still do now while im at work and have random thoughts.
11/20/06
I heard a guy who was a tournament Scrabble play describe himself as a "very aggressive player." What does that mean? Does he spell a word then stand up and punch the other guy in the face? I think everyday I become a little bit bigger of a pussy then i was the day before. It was cold out but not frigid tonight. I was waiting @ the train for Rich to pick me up and i was freezing. I had my collar popped trying to keep my ears warm i was flat out freezing. A couple of years ago I would have been out there with no jacket and all and just fine.
11/27/06 (My sisters birthday)
If I were a blind midget I would get the largest seeing eye dog i could find and ride him around instead walking w/ him. Joe Addai rules.
2/2/07
This is my proudest moment i've ever had while riding a train. The stench of my flatullance made a very elderly lady look up from the book she was reading and say "Eww". (On a side note this definitely happened and was absolutely hilarious, i wish you could have seen the face she made, we were facing eachother)
11/20/06
I heard a guy who was a tournament Scrabble play describe himself as a "very aggressive player." What does that mean? Does he spell a word then stand up and punch the other guy in the face? I think everyday I become a little bit bigger of a pussy then i was the day before. It was cold out but not frigid tonight. I was waiting @ the train for Rich to pick me up and i was freezing. I had my collar popped trying to keep my ears warm i was flat out freezing. A couple of years ago I would have been out there with no jacket and all and just fine.
11/27/06 (My sisters birthday)
If I were a blind midget I would get the largest seeing eye dog i could find and ride him around instead walking w/ him. Joe Addai rules.
2/2/07
This is my proudest moment i've ever had while riding a train. The stench of my flatullance made a very elderly lady look up from the book she was reading and say "Eww". (On a side note this definitely happened and was absolutely hilarious, i wish you could have seen the face she made, we were facing eachother)
Golf Sucks and this is why
I read this headline yesterday and was disgusted (b4 i started this thing) and since then it has garnered some attention and specifically in the NY area because it appeared in the NY Post and during the Michael Kay show on 1050 am radio Don LaGreca did a segment on it and why it's bullshit that was pretty good. A writer for the Post named George Willis waxed poetically over Tiger Woods winning the US Open on a torn ACL and the headline was "The Toughest Man In Sports" Bull-Fucking-Shit. This man swung a club and walked around. Here in an excerpt from the article "The announcement yesterday he was undergoing surgery on a torn anterior cruciate ligament and is also suffering from a double stress fracture in his left tibia confirmed winning the U.S. Open will go down as one of the greatest athletic achievements of our time. Other athletes - Michael Jordan (flu), Emmitt Smith (dislocated shoulder), Lawrence Taylor (broken leg) - have played games with severe ailments, but Woods had to perform at a high level for five consecutive days. Remarkable." How can you be aware of those athletic feats and rank Tiger ahead of them? If I'm not mistaken in the Emmitt Smith game he rushed for 160 yds and had 10 receptions. My senior year of high school i played football with a torn labrum and capsule in my shoulder that would slip out from time to time. I went to the doctor when i was in college and he basically said i tore everything in my shoulder, ligaments, cartledge and tendons and possibly my rotator cuff as well but i still played with it. I will venture to say that was more difficult that what Tiger did. Even worse this person writes for a New York paper. He's not out in Buttfuck North Dakota where nothing ever happens he watched Plaxico Burress basically play half a season and make the game winning catch in the superbowl on one ankle. He watched Sean Avery of the New York Rangers lacerate his spleen in the first period of a playoff game against the Penguins. Not only did Avery not miss a shift but each period after it happened he saw more ice time because it was a must win game. It almost fucking killed him. What about Patrick Ewing in the playoffs a few years back playing with a blown out Achilles? Remember the game where he missed a game winning layup as time expired and everyone was in an uproar because he didn't dunk the ball? The reason he didn't dunk is he couldn't, he had no Achilles tendon in his heel and could not physically hop up in the air the 2 inches it would have required for a man that is 7 feet tall to dunk the ball. I won't even talk about Willis Reed because that happened almost 30 years ago. Tiger hits a ball walks a little hits a ball then walks a little more. Granted it was tough and i'm sure it hurt but there was no outside threat of harm bodily harm he could suffer from other competitors if he failed. If he failed due to physical limitations all he would do is lose and still take home a huge payday. If an athlete from a real sport fails due to physical limitations from an injury they are playing through they have the potential to get themselves and those around them hurt. Also if a real sport athlete sits out because of an injury he still gets paid just the same as if he played. Golfers, barring sponsors and endorsements, get paid for playing these games and are compensated based on where they finish. So when Sean Avery decided to play through the pain a few months ago he was compensated just the same as if he had decided to sit out. He didn't get a bonus for playing extra time. Based on that alone example alone it puts this article to shame without even encountering the 100's of other examples. Every athlete that has offseason surgery didn't hurt themselves in the final game of the year but rather they played numerous games with the pain for no added bonus. Sometimes i think i would like to play golf but i don't really think that i actually want to play golf as much as i think that i should play golf because it seems like the thing to do, just because i'm white in my mid-twenties and reasonably athletic (on a side note several years ago i went to a driving range for shits and giggles and was being outdriven by a 12 yr old chinese girl) Fuck that this makes me proud to not play or watch golf at all. To me it really seems like everyone else is trying really hard to convince you that if you don't play golf that you should and that it really is a sport not a game or hobby and they people that play that really are athletes. Thats all garbage. Who are these people really trying to convince you or themselves?
Yankee Thoughts
Why are the Yankees carrying 3 catchers? I understand that they are still worried about Jorge behind the plate but this is overkill. Can't they just distribute the workload a little more to Molina? This is the reason Shelley Duncan is in the minors. This gives them too short of a bench because Chad Moellers only value is as a backup catcher. He's not a good hitter nor does he have power so you wouldn't use him as a pinch hitter. At least with Shelley you know if the pitcher makes a mistake the ball is going into the bleachers. Moeller is slow so he can'tpinch run and he can't play the field he can only catch. Shelley can play first or outfield decently granted you wouldnt pinch run with him either but at least he can play at least 2 positions in the field. Plus he signed an autograph "Red Sox Suck Shelley Duncan" whats not to love.
I love the small ball and all the stolen bases against SD. It definitely reminded me of the late 90s Yankees that Girardi was a part of that was winning World Serieses. What it also showed me was how well prepared the Yankees were for that series. You know someone did their homework and they went into the 3 game set knowing that they can and will run on the SD battery. Little things like that could be the difference between going to the playoffs and going home, especially in the tough AL East. I hope every idiot that thought Joba should only pitch the 8th inning punches themselves in the face today until they bleed. After his first start they were all yelling "I told you so" totally negating the fact that it was a 22 yr old kid making his first start as Yankee at Yankee stadium with all the build up and fanfare and debate surrounding it. What these morons didn't see was the fact that despite not having a great outing overall, he kept the Yankees in the game only giving up a ER and 2 runs overall. Sure it was only 2.1 innings but it wasn't his fault he had such a strict pitch count. He went 5.2 innings yesterday had 9 K's and his last pitch was 97 mph heater to get his 9th and final strikeout. Again, the only reason he came out was cuz of the pitch count he was on. I like where this is going.
I love the small ball and all the stolen bases against SD. It definitely reminded me of the late 90s Yankees that Girardi was a part of that was winning World Serieses. What it also showed me was how well prepared the Yankees were for that series. You know someone did their homework and they went into the 3 game set knowing that they can and will run on the SD battery. Little things like that could be the difference between going to the playoffs and going home, especially in the tough AL East. I hope every idiot that thought Joba should only pitch the 8th inning punches themselves in the face today until they bleed. After his first start they were all yelling "I told you so" totally negating the fact that it was a 22 yr old kid making his first start as Yankee at Yankee stadium with all the build up and fanfare and debate surrounding it. What these morons didn't see was the fact that despite not having a great outing overall, he kept the Yankees in the game only giving up a ER and 2 runs overall. Sure it was only 2.1 innings but it wasn't his fault he had such a strict pitch count. He went 5.2 innings yesterday had 9 K's and his last pitch was 97 mph heater to get his 9th and final strikeout. Again, the only reason he came out was cuz of the pitch count he was on. I like where this is going.
My Favorite Jokes of all Time
These are my two favorite jokes of all time and I think Sean O told me both of them.
Whats better then winning a gold medal at the "Special Olympics"?
Not Being Retarted.
Whats the difference between a frisbee and your mother?
Thr frisbee is not a whore.
Haha good clean fun for the whole family.
Whats better then winning a gold medal at the "Special Olympics"?
Not Being Retarted.
Whats the difference between a frisbee and your mother?
Thr frisbee is not a whore.
Haha good clean fun for the whole family.
Random things i heard today
Today while at work just walking around i heard 2 pretty funny lines from random people. One guy, who worked for a moving company we use when we have a lot of people moving their desks says to anther guy "Hey come here and check this for me cuz you know i smoke mad weed."
Very shortly thereafter I'm walking to our break room to get some water and i hear "That show Baywatch Nights sucked. They had like lifeguards and haunted houses." Indeed it did my friend, indeed it did.
Very shortly thereafter I'm walking to our break room to get some water and i hear "That show Baywatch Nights sucked. They had like lifeguards and haunted houses." Indeed it did my friend, indeed it did.
El Numero Uno
Well this is something new. I figure I'm opinionated and reasonably funny so why not give this a try. Amanda (my girlfriend) is amazed at the amount of notebooks I have half filled with random thoughts, rants and stories of debauchery. I know at the very least most of them will entertain my friends and I so I figured why not see how other people react to them. I'm not sure how well I'll keep on this, like most things I'll probably start off gung-ho then taper off slowly as the novelty wears off. Speak of Gung-ho, i just watched that movie for the first time in prob 10-15 years and it's very underrated. It's def in my top 5 Michael Keaton movies of all time possibly top 3. Lets work this out now. 1 Batman, that's a no brainer. 2 Beetlejuice another easy one. 3 Mr Mom, a classic by any standard. Ok so maybe its not top 3 however i should not really count Batman on this list. Batman was a blockbuster and should probably first be classified as a Tim Burton movie and secondly as Michael Keaton. When i think of Michael Keaton i think of an average joe making his way in life. An everyman that plays on his companies softball team, everyone likes and is really funny. I've convinced myself, Batman is off this list because even though an amazing movie and all of my all time favorites its much different then the movies its being compared with. However if instead of Keaton it were Jean Claude Van Dam who played Batman would I still like it as much? Prob not but this query could go much deeper then what i want to accomplish in this posting so I'll save it for another day. Hopefully if I put enough thought into it and do some research i can do an entire post on this Tim Burton, Michael Keaton alternate Batman subject but for now I'll reiterate Batman is off the official Michael Keaton top 5 list. So as of now 1. Beetlejuice (I know that it is another Tim Burton movie but it didn't have a built in audience predisposed to liking the subject matter like Batman, so it stays). 2. Mr Mom, again just a classic. Now this is where it gets tough, 3. Johnny Dangerously, when i was a kid i found its stupid gag jokes hilarious, i watched this movie about 6 months ago and still found them hilarious, so it withstood the test of time. 4. Gung Ho, he basically plays the same character he did in Mr Mom but it's so likable. He's a regular guy that everyone knows in their own lives. Gung Ho and Mr Mom could prob be sequels of one another cuz it really is the same exact character. Case and point, in the beginning of Gung Ho when Michael Keaton is speaking in front of all of the union guys that are out of a job and he's trying to convince them to go back to work but for less pay he gives a speech comparing their current situation to a high school basketball championship he played in where his defense in the 4th quarter won his team the game. In the beginning of Mr Mom, where he starts off and ends employed with another auto factory, he tries to lift the moral of the workers in the face of impending layoffs by comparing their current situation to Rocky Balboa and the guys hes trying to relate this too miss the meaning and they start asking him which Rocky it was 1,2 or 3. He's trying to tell them that even though the odds are against them they shouldn't let that beat them and they should keep fighting. They are wondering if Mr T was in the movie he watched. So you can see how similar the characters are. 5. One Good Cop, awesome movie. Another guy just trying to do the right thing, loyal to his friends and almost becomes a modern day Robin Hood. Ive said this before Michael Keaton is, if not the greatest actor of all time, he's not far. Look at the gamut of his roles from legendary, brooding crime fighter Batman a man dying of cancer in My Life. Every role he plays he is likable and you always want him to "win" and its definitely always believable. Just missing out on the top 5 Multiplicity, My Life and Pacific Heights.
Haha my supervisor just walked over to talk to me about something and blatantly caught me listening to ESPN radio and typing this "Blog" i bet she still doesn't give me any work to do.
Haha my supervisor just walked over to talk to me about something and blatantly caught me listening to ESPN radio and typing this "Blog" i bet she still doesn't give me any work to do.
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